


Degrade

by hexagram



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst, Bottom Yoo Kihyun, Changkyun seduces Kihyun, Fluff, Listen...Im just trying to write some Changki porn, M/M, Minor Chae Hyungwon/Lee Hoseok | Wonho, Smut, Top Im Changkyun | I.M, changki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-16
Updated: 2020-04-11
Packaged: 2021-02-07 08:56:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 24,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21455413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hexagram/pseuds/hexagram
Summary: Changkyun helps Kihyun come undone.
Relationships: Chae Hyungwon/Lee Hoseok | Wonho, Lim Changkyun | I.M/Yoo Kihyun
Comments: 26
Kudos: 275





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> So yall really think Kihyun is a top, huh.

“Let me help.”

Changkyun slipped into the kitchen where Kihyun was busying himself with the dishes.

“It’s alright,” Kihyun glanced back over his shoulder. “I promised this is on me, as a thank you to the group.”

Kihyun was still trying to deal with his feelings about his fractured rib injury. He had been healed for a week, yet the emotional baggage associated stuck with him. He felt he had disappointed his fans for not pushing himself harder, yet everyone around him tried to get him to bedrest earlier than he had wanted. 

Although he has made many dinners for the whole team, this time he took on all the tasks pre- and post-consumption, instead of delegating prepping and cleanup duty. And after weeks of relying on the support from his bandmates, this was really the least he felt he could do.

“Don’t be stubborn, Kih,” Changkyun said while grabbing the large serving plate from Kihyun’s hanks in the sink. The sponge slipped from Kihyun’s hand at the sudden movement. Kihyun turned to look.

“Well, I guess I can’t stop you,” Kihyun said, although slightly annoyed. 

He watched the smirk play on Changkyun’s face as the younger man dried the plate with a hand towel. Changkyun looked up to meet his eyes. Kihyun held his gaze, taking another dirty plate and proceeding to wash the rest of the dishes in the sink. Changkyun did not say anything for a moment; Kihyun had noticed how Changkyun tended to bring around comfortable silences, sometimes he had a presence that was as calm and the low in his voice. And then other times he was an absolute idiot. The duality was real.

Over the time that Kihyun had known Changkyun, Kihyun would call their bandmate relationship turbulent, but only because of how much his feelings about him changed from No Mercy up until now. He suspected that Changkyun did not know how Kihyun had been awed by the maknae, likely as a result of Kihyun’s need to control exactly how much he expresses of himself. Although the years with all his bandmates have slowly been wearing down on all the layers and shells that he has built around himself, there were still many times he felt the more conservative than the rest of his bandmates.

However, Changkyun also had another tendency. To take him out of his comfort zone.

His line of thoughts was interrupted by a giggle from Hyungwon down the hallway, who was thrown over Hoseok’s shoulder.

Hyungwon then yelped as they turned a corner, most likely hitting the doorway with his long limbs.

“They’re so cute,” Changkyun commented, putting away one of the last dishes. 

Kihyun nodded absentmindedly, wiping his hands on another hand towel hanging through the over handle.

“Thanks,” Kihyun smiled. He took out his hand as he walked by Changkyun, putting it on top of his head and ruffling his hair gently. It was so soft.

Changkyun grabbed the hand in a swift motion with both his hands, stopping Kihyun in his tracks. He turned the wrist and slowly squeezed, then moving his thumbs over his palms as though giving him a massage. 

“Are you gonna go yell at them and tell them to be quiet?” Changkyun looked up from Kihyun’s hand in his, up from under his bangs to once again smirk at Kihyun. Since realizing just _how_ into each other Hyungwon and Hoseok are, the bandmates have had to deal with the fallout in the form of gasps and moans from the bedroom. And shower.

Kihyun’s eyes widened almost noticeably. He felt himself blush. Changkyun’s presence could be so dominating to him, especially as someone who was so unapologetically himself.

He almost yanked his hand away but decided to accept the gentle gesture from the maknae. He sighed softly.

“No, they’re fine,” he said, clearing his throat. “I guess I should let them live.”

Changkyun let out a low laugh, his fingers continuing to press and move over Kihyun’s palm, then slipping between his fingers.

“You work hard,” he said.

Now the urge to pull away was strong enough that Kihyun took his hand away. He could not tell whether the atmosphere was heavy because of how he felt about Changkyun and did not want to show it, or because Changkyun was actually doing something different. Kihyun decided not to go there with his thoughts.

_He’s just playing with me._

“Don’t stay up too late,” he said before going to his room, walking away before the fast beat of his heart became noticeable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> I'm really excited to write for this fandom; I'm a month old Monbebe and realized there isn't much non-AU Changki out there. So this is really just gonna be some shameless Changki smut... Because it's what we deserve in these trying times.
> 
> This story will be fairly short and heavily NSFW. Mild plot. Enjoy!


	2. (1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Don’t stop,” he finally spoke.

“Goodnight, Monbebe!” Kihyun smiled widely at the camera and waved a hand. “I hope everyone sleeps well tonight!”

Giving one lasting smile, he turned off the V Live stream with a hit of the Space key. With a small sigh he shut the laptop and put it away on the chair by the bed. His back hit the sheets as he exhaled, taking his hand and running his fingers through his hair. He was sitting upright for the past 20 minutes while on stream, showing the webcam various things from his phone as requested by his fans—the last picture he took, last text he sent, last page he visited, among other interesting and safe-for-stream requests. It turned out to be actually fairly innocent, with last texts sent to his mom and Minhyuk. The last picture he took was of Changkyun trying on H.One’s large headphones, although somehow the maknae always manages to fill every role with complete confidence of belonging in it. 

Kihyun pushed off the bed, heading towards the bathroom inside his part of the suite. While on tour they stayed in many different places, ranging from nothing extraordinary to somewhat more luxurious accommodations. This time, they were staying in a comparatively large suite right off the center of Madrid. Bedrooms were spacious, most with their own bathroom although some had to share the ones in the hall. Kihyun lucked out with a small bathroom inside his bedroom. 

He turned on the lights, a collection of small bulbs that interestingly placed high up towards the ceiling. Must have been some modern art type of design, since the lights did not do much justice illuminating the room, remaining quite dim. Reaching for his toiletries bag on the shelf under the mirror, he took out a toothbrush and toothpaste, snapping the cap off and squeezing a dollop of paste over a wettened toothbrush. He looked at himself in the mirror: the loose white shirt over his chest and black sweatpants that are loose at the crotch and tighter along the legs. His hair was slightly disheveled, but the waviness remained from the morning’s magazine photoshoot, with a sliver of forehead peeking out from the middle part.

As he started brushing his teeth, he heard the sounds coming from behind his bedroom door. A door opening and shutting, with some laughter following. Minhyuk, Jooheon and Changkyun had been gone for dinner for the past hour, while the rest of the guys were catching up on rest or updating online content. Kihyun did not mind, he usually really enjoyed the V Live streams and the online interactions with their fanbase, since to him it felt like a time where he was alone but not lonely—alone together with the fans.

The corners of his lips twitched into a smile before his attention focused on his bedroom door suddenly opening. He heard the person approach the open bathroom door before Changkyun peeked in. They looked at each other through the mirror. Changkyun was still wearing his leather jacket with a soft button-up shirt under, and jeans that had a stripe all the way down the side,

“Kihyuniiie,” Changkyun dragged out with a smile as he approached the small bathroom. “Hey, we brought you guys food! The place down the street actually turned out to be kind of like a food truck with seating outside, but the food was bomb.”

He leaned his elbow on the door frame, looking back and forth between the Kihyun in the mirror and the Kihyun in front of him. Kihyun paused with a responsive hum, then bent over to spit the foam from his mouth into the sink, washing it down with water from the faucet.

“Sounds really nice, what did you bring me?” Kihyun asked, dropping his toothbrush into the cup next to the sink, then wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. 

“I’ll leave it as a surprise for you,” Changkyun said with a smirk. “Just go eat soon before it gets too cold.”

Kihyun couldn’t help the grin that formed on his face. The bandmates got used to taking care of each other, but whenever the youngest did it to him it filled his chest with a pleasant warmth, something between laughter and affection. Reaching over towards the soap, Kihyun lathered up and rinsed his hands before reaching for a make-up wipe. The smooth cloth rubbed over his forehead first under the messy bangs, then over his nose and cheeks. He let out a cough, noticing that Changkyun was watching him through his evening routine. 

Changkyun smirked when Kihyun looked at him through the mirror again, before taking his free hand and touching the back of Kihyun’s neck, gripping ever so slightly. Kihyun held a breath then exhaled, painfully mindful of trying not to make this weird for both of them through his reactions to Changkyun’s touch. Although touching between the group was not a foreign concept, in this enclosed space with Changkyun peering at him through the mirror while standing behind him, Kihyun really wasn’t sure.

The turbulent way Kihyun felt about their relationship came from the time it took them to know each other. Or, the time it took Kihyun to know Changkyun. Kihyun felt that the more he knew Changkyun, the less he really understood him. First, the newest member of the group gave off the impression of coldness, stiffness, and disconnect, but then he opened up with his idiotic laughs and the ease with which he made fun of himself. Then, as easily as he lets out his screeching laughs, Changkyun reverted back to the cold-blooded savage on stage and in front of the camera. Sometimes that stoicism carried over as a sort of curious wisdom in the way he approached the bandmembers. 

“How are you feeling?” Changkyun asked smoothly. 

“I’m good, stop asking,” Kihyun said with a huff, compensating for the way he was feeling from Changkyun’s presence with a bratty response. “Seriously, it’s been weeks. I’m not dying.”

“I know, I know, relax,” Changkyun moved the hand up from the back of his neck into his hair to ruffle the soft strands for effect before placing it on Kihyun’s shoulder. “There was a notification that you started V Live. I bet people went crazy since the news of the injury.”

“Eh, I think it went smoothly,” Kihyun shrugged, still aware of the warmth of Changkyun’s hand gently squeezing at the end of his sentence. “Someone asked to see the last picture I took on my phone, and I’m not sure exactly what they were expecting, but it seems I’ve disappointed them.”

Changkyun let out a laugh, taking his hand away from Kihyun’s neck and draping it over his shoulders. The warmth of his body spread through Kihyun, and for a second Kihyun was too overwhelmed by the sudden feeling to think about why he was feeling like this now. Maybe he was overthinking all the circumstances around him.

“That’s funny, actually, because I just caught a glimpse of Hoseok’s photo gallery on his phone at the dinner table, and that one he definitely wouldn’t want to show on live,” Changkyun grinned, tilting his chin up. 

Kihyun stood still for a moment, having finished his routine but not moving as he got lost in specific thoughts. After a short time, he spoke.

“Changkyun,” he sounded a bit more serious than he intended. “Have you ever been with a man?”

Changkyun raised his eyebrows as he stared back at Kihyun, clearly startled at the bold question. He did not seem uncomfortable, though, much more surprised. Kihyun tried not to regret the extremity of this question, but somehow felt like Changkyun would be open with him. Or at least he hoped.

“Sure,” Changkyun just shrugged. “Why?”

Kihyun broke their gaze to look down. He also wondered, _why?_ What kind of answer was he interested in? Asking it now, after all the time they’ve known each other. Hell, maybe the other bandmates already knew this, and Kihyun was too late to be interested or even ask about Changkyun’s romantic and sexual past. 

He felt his heart speed up as he finally registered Changkyun’s answer. 

_How far?_

“Dunno, just,” Kihyun tried to begin a coherent answer, but felt himself coming up short. “Uhm, was it… just a … moment? Or, you know, long-term.”

Kihyun felt awkward, but he couldn’t stop himself from finishing the sentence. He already began this, and he was just stubborn enough to finish it.

“Kihyun,” Changkyun’s eyes locked on this through the mirror, intense. “I’m attracted to people, not concepts.”

Kihyun felt the warmth rise up through his chest, seeing his own reflection in the mirror start blushing. 

_What the hell was that supposed to mean?_

“Wha-what?” Kihyun stuttered. “I mean, it doesn’t matter, really.”

Changkyun chuckled at Kihyun’s attempts, taking away the arm that was around Kihyun’s shoulders. Kihyun caught a glimpse of his black nails as the hand moved out of sight. Changkyun slipped his hands into his pockets nonchalantly before turning towards the doorway and taking a few steps.

“You’re right, it doesn’t,” he shrugged, breaking their gaze and walking out of the small bathroom. 

As soon as Changkyun’s reflection disappeared from the mirror, Kihyun let out a deep breath he did not know he was holding. He felt so … intense after a conversation that was like any other over the few years the members knew each other. Yet, he did not know whether it all intensified after his question or at some point prior to that.

Or why Changkyun remained such a mystery to him.

And why he wanted to dive deeper into it.

“Forgot something,” Changkyun’s voice interrupted Kihyun’s racing thoughts as he walked back into the dim bathroom. Kihyun stood planted in the same spot that he was since beginning his washing-up routine as Changkyun came up behind him again. 

He felt Changkyun’s arms sneak around his waist and over towards the sink, turning on the faucet and pushing Kihyun forward. Changkyun’s chest was flush against Kihyun’s back as his two arms kept him locked against the bathroom counter. Kihyun swallowed a sudden gasp as Changkyun calmly proceeded to wash his hands, Kihyun between his arms, looking down at the moving hands in front of him. Changkyun rested his chin softly on Kihyun’s shoulder and lathered up his hands with a hum, washing off the suds under the warm water.

“Why so tense, Kih?” Changkyun spoke with a hushed, low voice by his ear. “Did I make you uncomfortable?”

Kihyun swallowed, looking up to watch Changkyun behind him through the mirror again, trying to match the confidence and intensity of the maknae’s gaze.

“No,” he said as firmly as he could, yet felt his legs start to slowly go numb as the blood rushed to his upper body. “You’re just awfully close.”

“Then,” Changkyun dragged again, turning off the faucet and reaching over to the hand towel on the hook on the wall, wiping his hands thoroughly but not releasing Kihyun from the cage of his arms. “Move.”

They stood locked in their positions for an intense moment, not taking their eyes off each other’s reflections in the mirror. Kihyun was sure that if he turned to the side to look Changkyun directly in the eyes, he would die right on that spot. Or punch him.

Kihyun’s hands gripped the bathroom counter in front of him, somehow solidifying his stubbornness to be in this position. His bathroom. His territory. Changkyun could not make him feel weak here. But then, why was he really trying to assert any dominance at all?

“Thought so,” Changkyun said, his now dry hands sneaking around Kihyun’s waist again, but this time crossing over, with fingers brushing over his flat stomach covered up by the white shirt. Kihyun gasped but stood still, pressing his lips together to keep back any sound that was threatening to make his way out of his throat.

_Stop him._

_Try to._

He suddenly felt Changkyun’s warm breath on the skin under his earlobe. The man turned his face towards Kihyun, in the process brushing his nose and lips over the skin, slightly inhaling.

“Changkyun,” Kihyun finally breathed out, shutting his eyes, feeling the warmth pooling in his chest and starting to travel to other regions. He needed to regain control.

“Mm?” Changkyun’s low voice vibrated against the skin on his neck before his lips grazed along from below his ear towards the neckline of Kihyun’s shirt, then traveling back up to place a kiss on his earlobe, so soft Kihyun almost did not notice. But although his eyes were closed, he knew of Changkyun’s movements from the man’s black hair brushing over his skin along his path, his smell occasionally hitting Kihyun’s senses. Changkyun’s chest still flush against his back, every little shift of his body was felt by Kihyun’s back muscles as he stood frozen in his embrace.

Kihyun felt oddly hypersensitive to every touch yet couldn’t bring himself to move away.

“I’m not…” he began but trailed off when one of Changkyun’s hands snuck under the bottom of his shirt, fingers fanning across his soft stomach, slowly moving up towards the chest with soft but confident caresses while the other hand gripped Kihyun’s hip. He felt Changkyun lean forward to press him more into the counter and gripped the edge of the sink until his knuckles started to turn white.

“You don’t have to be,” Changkyun whispered with his low, sensual voice right into Kihyun’s ear, sending shivers down the man’s spine. Kihyun’s breath caught in his throat, and he felt his heartbeat speed up even faster.

“Look at me.”

Kihyun’s eyes opened at Changkyun’s assertive command, and he felt a flash of arousal travel across his lower body at the rapper’s low, dominant voice. Their eyes locked through the mirror again, and Kihyun registered the scene in front of him. He was blushing a vivid red, mouth parted, staring back at Changkyun who had a strong hold on him, with a hand on Kihyun’s hip, the other visible under his shirt, slowly moving up towards the neck. Changkyun wrapped the hand around Kihyun’s throat, using it to tilt his head away to expose more of the flesh on his neck and shoulder. Eyes still locked on each other, Kihyun watched as Changkyun’s tongue peeked out to lick across the fleshly exposed skin. Kihyun bit his lip to hold back a groan.

“Do you want me to stop?” Changkyun asked, the fingers of the hand around the neck caressing softly before pressing down ever so slightly. Changkyun waited for a response with his lips hovering over the dip of Kihyun’s neck to the shoulder, eyes peeking dangerously from underneath his black bangs.

Kihyun could not respond. The urge to shove away and slap Changkyun was pushed down by the arousal he started to feel at the man’s touches and his demeanor. He continued to stay silent, his breathing echoing in the bathroom as they continued to look at each other through the mirror.

_How far will he go?_

“Tell me,” Changkyun commanded.

Kihyun whimpered under his breath, the sound muffled behind his lips. A couple breaths in and out as he felt his heartbeat pound in his ears. Surely Changkyun could feel it too.

“Don’t stop,” he finally spoke.

Immediately Changkyun’s lips kissed the flesh of the neck, followed by a soft bite covered by a warm tongue. He let out a low moan into the skin, as if he has been waiting patiently to taste Kihyun and finally got his wish. The hand moved from his hip and over Kihyun’s chest, finding the nipple and brushing over it with his thumb, earning a gasp from the man in Changkyun’s hold. Kihyun bit his lip in embarrassment, watching through the mirror as the man behind him kissed and licked over his skin with a smirk, moving up to lick over the shell of his ear, sucking and biting down onto the lobe. 

Kihyun’s entire body felt hot, and as he felt himself lose control in Changkyun’s grip, he realized that his erection was pressing painfully into the hard sink counter. Changkyun continued his kisses and bites on the exposed flesh, holding Kihyun’s head away by the grip on his throat and slightly pinching one of Kihyun’s nipples, earning a wince from the man in his arms.

“You’re so good,” Changkyun whispered, placing a kiss along Kihyun’s jawline.

Keeping a firm grip on Kinhyun’s throat, Changkyun’s other hand moved down to graze the lining of Kihyun’s sweatpants. Kihyun’s hips shifted slightly at the anticipation, but his moans at the praise from the other man were stuck in his throat by the grip of Changkyun’s hand and the way his head was tiled back to lay on Changkyun’s shoulder.

Changkyun turned to give Kihyun a kiss on his cheekbone before sneaking his fingers under the waistband of his sweatpants.

_Is he really going to…?_

The thoughts in Kihyun’s head started racing wildly, between the rationality of the situation, how he should stop this, how he should have never let this happen. About what will happen tomorrow and why this is happening at all. But he was too far gone, the reasons and rationality scrambling together and evaporating like sweat out of his pores as his breaths turned into pants from the anticipation of Changkyun’s unpredictable touch. 

Changkyun watched the man in the mirror unravel in his arms; he moved his hand down, feeling the heat from his arousal as soon as he breached the waistband. Every moment of his movements he slowed to give Kihyun time to push away, yet Kihyun seemed to accept his state of defeat more readily than he was probably willing to admit. 

His fingers brushed the base of Kihyun’s erection, and as soon as he touched the flesh, Kihyun released a moan, echoing around the bathroom tiles. Changkyun’s hand on his throat tightened its grip, pushing Kihyun’s head back against his shoulder. Kihyun’s eyes were closed now, the quick breaths coming out of his mouth, hands gripping the sink in front of him. 

Changkyun’s hand slowly wrapped around Kihyun’s erection, earning another strained moan from the unraveling man. His moans were getting progressively louder, and Changkyun would be damned if he stopped them now.

He moved his thumb over the head, feeling the wetness dripping from the slit from how aroused Kihyun has become from all of Changkyun’s movements. Wrapping the hand around Kihyun’s dick, he gave a couple sensual pumps, now starting to feel how Kihyun’s thighs began to quiver. Kihyun was panting heavily, eyes squeezed closed, before he warned.

“Changkyun!” he moaned. “I’m-“

Changkyun released the hold on Kihyun’s throat, placing the hand over Kihyun’s mouth to muffle the confession bursting out of the unraveling man. As soon as he gripped Kihyun’s mouth to silence the man, Changkyun felt Kihyun release himself into his hand, the sudden orgasm washing over his entire body. His knees shook at the comedown of his climax as he panted into the palm over his mouth. 

Changkyun waited a moment before Kihyun leaned forward, steadying himself by leaning his arms on the sink, refusing to look back up. Meanwhile, Changkyun’s hand moved out of Kihyun’s sweatpants; the man leaned forward again to wash his hands in the sink with Kihyun between his arms as he had done earlier, rinsing the cum from between his fingers.

Leaning forward as Kihyun was catching his breath, Changkyun placed a kiss on the back of his neck, wiping his clean hands on the towel, before moving back and detaching his body from the man in front of him.

“Looks like you’ll need to wash up again,” he said as he was leaving the bathroom, leaving Kihyun alone in the dim bathroom lights. Shocked, weak and completely spent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I warned yall that Changkyun is a top!!!
> 
> But seriously, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! There's more to come, but I will update as I have the time.  
Please leave feedback if you wish. <3


	3. (2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I…” Kihyun answered immediately. “I won’t stop you if you do.”

The spacious studio was slowly filling up with noises of busyness, shuffling feet and chatter. Half an hour before their photoshoot was scheduled to begin, most of the band was already prepared with hair, makeup and styled outfits. This photoshoot did not seem to have a specific theme to it like so many of theirs did—mostly perfectly ironed suit pants, quirky patterns and silver jewelry.

Kihyun adjusted the ring on his index finger, fondling it nervously as he looked up at himself in the mirror, the shadow of the image of Changkyun standing behind him imprinted in his vision. It has been a week since the night Changkyun touched him—the night he absolutely let him touch him—and since that night the two did not share much contact. They’ve both been so separately occupied, with Changkyun’s solo video recording taking up a couple days while Kihyun spent most of his free time in the studio with Hoseok, collaborating on songs for the new album.

As the day approached where the group had to keep working together, Kihyun knew he could not let the restlessness inside him spiral out of control. He spent so much time thinking about what had happened between the two of them, but among all the confusion surrounding his feelings about the situation, Kihyun knew he could not ignore it or play it off.

He needed to talk to Changkyun.

Even though he was set on the fact that him and Changkyun must talk about whatever happened, he did not know where to even begin the conversation. He did not exactly know what he wanted to come out of this conversation or the situation overall. All he knew is he was too prideful and stubborn to let his lapse of control change the dynamic of their friendship and working relationship.

_Nothing can change, for the sake of the band._

Kihyun glanced around behind him, having been left with his thoughts for ten minutes now, trying to get a sense of where his other bandmates were in the studio. He heard Jooheon’s bright laughter over in the corner as he mocked something about Hoseok, pulling at the strings on his jacket. Meanwhile, Shownu was having his sweat dabbed off by a makeup artist, followed by a slight whine from the female worker as she had to reapply the foundation to his skin. Kihyun turned around and walked over to a side couch where Minhyuk was lazily scrolling on his phone while leaning his head on Changkyun’s shoulder.

Kihyun fought with his own head about how to make this interaction the least awkward for everyone involved. Especially with Minhyuk’s nosy ass.

“Changkyun,” he said as soon as his feet stopped moving, causing both men to look up at him. He cleared his throat. “Can we talk?”

At least he managed to be straightforward without stammering, although his heart was racing out of his chest. Changkyun’s dark eyes looked up at him, seemingly surprised on the surface but Kihyun saw the depth behind that look. Or at least he hoped that was not his mind making him see what he wanted to see.

Minhyuk giggled, lifting himself off Changkyun’s shoulder too look up at Kihyun, absentmindedly locking his phone.

“So serious!” he whined. “What up with you?”

Kihyun’s gaze switched between Changkyun’s calculating one and Minhyuk, hoping that the other would understand what he was getting at.

“Are you guys keeping secrets from me?”

“Don’t be nosy,” Kihyun said playfully. “You know too much already so maybe it’s better to keep secrets from you.”

Changkyun let out a laugh before standing up, patting Minhyuk comfortingly on the shoulder.

“We’re planning your birthday surprise,” Changkyun smirked, walking over to stand next to Kihyun, leaving Minhyuk to pout alone on the couch.

“Pfft,” Minhyuk snorted. “Yeah, right, as if you two would ever.”

Changkyun shrugged before looking over at Kihyun, putting his hands into his pockets and gesturing with his body movement to the side. Kihyun did not explicitly respond, just tightened his lips and started to walk toward the wardrobe section, filled with half-empty hangers and people-less silence. Kihyun felt a wash of relief spread over him as he successfully managed to avoid Minhyuk’s interrogation. He knew that the man was cunning and intelligent, and any weird vibes would immediately be picked up on. Or worse, questioned.

Changkyun’s steps were powerful behind him as the man followed Kihyun to the emptier space. Thoughts were racing through Kihyun’s head, trying to decipher exactly what he wanted to say, let alone prepare himself for the unpredictable behavior of Changkyun. He managed to start.

“Changk—“

“Listen,” the other man interrupted him as they both stopped with a squeak of their shoes. They listened to a couple breaths exchanged between them, staring at each other at the same height among the rows of fabric. “I’m sorry that I made you uncomfortable.”

“Changkyun, I—“ Kihyun paused as he registered the other man’s words. “Wait, what?”

The last thing he expected was an apology. The first thing he expected was Changkyun laughing at his reaction or smirking at the way Kihyun was clearly uncomfortable in this situation, playing nervously with the jewelry on his hand but refusing to avoid eye contact.

“Yeah, I’m sorry,” Changkyun spoke with his low but gentle voice. His eyes jumped over Kihyun’s facial features, looking more vulnerable than Kihyun had ever seen him look. “I don’t know why I jumped you like that. I guess I… I don’t know, saw it as a challenge or something? It’s a dangerous game, I know.” Changkyun rubbed the back of his head as he spoke before licking his lips. “I couldn’t help myself.”

“A challenge?” Kihyun said, eyebrows shooting up in surprise, ignoring the majority of that apology. The word felt cold on his lips. He saw Changkyun’s eyes widen before the man reached to grab his shoulders.

“It’s just that you seemed curious,” Changkyun licked his lips again. “And you seemed to enjoy it.”

Kihyun tightened his lips, looking away from Changkyun’s face as he felt a blush coming up to his cheeks, thankfully hidden by the layer of foundation on his skin.

“I’m pretty sure it’s basic human anatomy,” Kihyun forced out with an eyeroll. “Someone touches my dick, it feels good.”

_Could have been anyone, right?_

“I guess I wouldn’t have wanted it to be just anyone,” Changkyun shrugged, releasing Kihyun’s shoulders from his hands as he felt the other man’s demeanor harden. A slight smile played on his lips as he observed Kihyun, a million layers behind the look in his eyes that Kihyun could not decipher.

“What you want for me doesn’t matter in this situation,” Kihyun said, shivering at how cold his words felt. He did not know why he was getting so angry and bothered at this conversation, maybe because he thought that he had Changkyun figured out for a moment, only for his expectations to be thrown back in his face.

“The point is,” he started again after a deep breath to calm himself down. “I don’t want there to be weirdness between us because of this. I don’t want anything to be different between us. So, I’m glad you’re apologetic about it.”

Kihyun watched the flicker in Changkyun’s eyes become dimmer as the man shifted to lean on one hip, looking away and down at his shoes with a short nod.

“No weirdness from me,” he raised his hands up in defeat before looking back at Kihyun. “Just keep it as your one minute in heaven.”

_Literally one minute._

Kihyun rolled his eyes to mask his embarrassment before smacking Changkyun’s shoulder with the back of his hand, earning a dramatic wince from the other man. As he started to walk by Changkyun to return to the group, he stopped to point at the other man’s face.

“And not a word to anyone about this,” he said.

“Obviously,” Changkyun smirked before quickly peeking out his tongue to lick the tip of Kihyun’s finger that was pointed at him, catching the other man off guard before he regained his senses and followed Changkyun back into the studio.

_Now, everything can, and should, stay the same._

+++  
……

Kihyun slid down the mirror that stretched across the four walls of the dance studio, hitting the back of his head on it as, closing his eyes, and panting. His heart was beating furiously, then gradually slowing down after a few minutes of deep breaths. The track that he was practicing his dance routine to started replaying in the background, but he felt too exhausted to get up and turn it off. 

The band was set to release a single in the upcoming month, so the exhaustive dance practices have already begun. Kihyun had always been a perfectionist; this quality of his exponentially increasing as he trained for his debut and then finally debuted. He could feel impending pressure as the lead vocalist to execute his performances perfectly, and one of the most difficult parts of that was singing with a steady voice during the dance routines. Although they had backing vocals playing with the tracks, Kihyun made it a point to use his voice and use it well. He felt it was the least he could give his fans who depend on him—a steady, powerful vocal performance.

And although he did not feel necessarily intimidated by the pressure, he felt an urge to put in extra hours of dance practice in the afterhours when his bandmates were doing their own thing at the studio or back at the dorms. Often Shownu would join him, the best dancer with the most patience.

With eyes still closed and breathing rhythm slow and steady, ignoring the song echoing across the room, he started singing the chorus to the song, making sure his voice felt even, steady and strong. As he was going through the words, putting the power of his diaphragm into every word as he did every time he sang.

The track switched off suddenly, with the aftermaths of his singing echoing around the now silent studio.

His eyes flew open to see Changkyun standing by the table with the speakers, finger on the pause button as he stopped to look at Kihyun across the room on the floor. Kihyun picked up his head off the mirror to look back at the nighttime intruder.

“Figured you’d be here,” Changkyun said, crossing the spacious room toward Kihyun. 

Kihyun noticed that he was holding a small, white towel and a bottle of water, which he reached out to hand over to the sitting man. Kihyun raised his eyebrow with a pause before accepting the two things from Changkyun. The sneaky warmth came back to his chest at the affectionate action from the maknae.

“Thanks,” he said, opening the water and gulping it down, mostly to muffle whatever disoriented things he was about to say to avoid any embarrassment. Changkyun’s presence was sometimes so mysterious that it became dominating.

“It’s really late, Kih, you’re gonna tire yourself out before all the other shit we gotta do for the comeback,” Changkyun said, leaning back on the mirror and sliding down to sit next to Kihyun and brushing his thigh on the other man’s as he crossed his legs.

“You’re here too though,” Kihyun turned with a smirk, looking Changkyun up and down. “Besides, you’re not the one that’s supposed to be taking care of me.”

Changkyun laughed.

“Not everything needs to be played by the supposed rules,” Changkyun said. “Just because I’m the youngest does not mean I can’t take care of you. Age doesn’t really matter anyway. We’re kind of in a vacuum like that when it’s the two—or seven—of us.”

“You’re only saying that because you’re the youngest,” Kihyun said before he laughed, shoving Changkyun with his shoulder. The collision felt warm, with Kihyun’s body still fired up from the physical exercise.

“But I have experienced things you have not,” Changkyun said, looking away from Kihyun but a smile still playing on his lips. Kihyun wished that Changkyun could look at him, so he could better understand the kind of wisdom that was swirling in those brown eyes.

“So what have you experienced that I haven’t that makes you more mature than me,” Kihyun could not wipe the smile from his face as he talked back to the younger man, his black hair messy and lazily pushed back, a large black sweatshirt with white stings softly hanging on his shoulders.

“Well, lots, obviously,” Changkyun rolled his eyes, sliding his back sideways towards Kihyun so their shoulders were fully leaning on each other.

“Like what you told me that night?” Kihyun blurted out. He felt his breath catch in his throat from his own straight forwardness, but he compensated by attempting to hold eye contact with Changkyun, trying to _not_ look like he was falling apart inside.

“Hm,” Changkyun hummed, staring back at Kihyun, unwavering. “Has that been on your mind a lot?”

Kihyun’s eyes widened noticeably. Catching his breath in his throat, he came back to his senses from being mesmerized by Changkyun’s low, hushed voice, forcing himself to look away.

_Are we… flirting?_

“Well not exactly that part of it,” he said, staring down at his hands folded between his legs. “Just, everything I guess.”

Changkyun was silent for a while, looking at Kihyun’s profile and scanning the sharp jaw, the long eyelashes and glossy lips. The reflections of the lights in the mirrors around them felt like they were alone in an infinite space. Kihyun’s heart beat a little faster, but not pulling away like the nervousness that was rising up his spine was begging him to do.

“Then,” Changkyun broke the long silence. “What have you thought about it?”

_Everything. How good it felt and how it was absolutely forbidden._

“Nothing,” he let out, leaning his head back against the mirror again and taking a breath. He closed his eyes for a moment. “That nothing can come of it.”

“I think you’re being held back by the wrong things,” the black-haired man spoke, once again scanning Kihyun’s profile.

Kihyun pursed his lips, feeling the beat of his heart vibrate his chest. He bit down on his lip, refusing to look back at Changkyun, somehow feeling that it would basically be like losing to him, losing at whatever game he was playing.

“Aside from the fact that it’s totally inappropriate,” Kihyun spoke, trying to stop the trembles in his voice. “Just even ignoring that detail. It was still all very … impersonal.”

Changkyun raised his eyebrows, releasing a quick breath. 

“What do you mean?” he asked after a laugh. His hands brushed over his own thighs down his knees, and then back up again towards the hips.

“I mean,” Kihyun quickly inhaled. “That sort of thing usually comes later during something like that, right?” he thought for a moment, letting the beat of his heart propel him toward whatever things he was about to spill to Changkyun. Because he was _there_, with his comforting voice and with his undivided attention on Kihyun. And Kihyun could not resist. “Usually you’re supposed to like, hold hands, and kiss first, then that happens. So, I’m not exactly sure what I’m trying to say by this but it’s just the feeling I get from it. It was very … overwhelming.”

Kihyun coughed to shut himself up from the verbal waterfall spilling out of his mouth. 

_What else is there left to confess?_

“So what you’re telling me is,” Kihyun felt Changkyun’s face get closer to him, vibrations of breaths hitting his cheek and the weight on his shoulder get heavier as the other man leaned into him. “That you want to kiss me.”

Kihyun’s head whipped to the side with the sudden shock at Changkyun’s words. He could not believe this was real right now. As he turned, the tip of his nose brushed over Changkyun’s, not realizing exactly how close the other man had gotten to him. He gasped at the contact, automatically jerking to pull away from Changkyun, but the other man swiftly grasped his upper arm, fingers wrapping around right under the armpit and holding him in his place.

“Kihyun,” he said, voice quieter but lower than before, eyes switching between Kihyun’s blown open eyes and his gasping mouth. “Please, can I kiss you?”

“I…” Kihyun answered immediately. “I won’t stop you if you do.”

There was something resembling a low groan heard deep in Changkyun’s throat as the black-haired man tightened his grip on Kihyun’s upper arm, pulling him even closer into himself. His eyes now attached to Kihyun’s lips, he lunged forward to capture the breathy man in a kiss. Kihyun watched Changkyun’s eyes flutter closed as he leaned in to connect their mouths.

There was an immediate shockwave washing over his body up his neck, then it was washed away by a warmth spreading around his upper body as Changkyun held their lips pressed against each other. He then leaned back for a second, their eyelashes brushing over one another before he took a breath between them and captured Kihyun’s lower lip, turning his head slightly for deeper access.

Kihyun felt lost between a dream and reality, regaining the sense of his own body again and kissing Changkyun back with eyes shut closed. Changkyun’s lips felt so soft and warm; he felt himself melt at the touch, the breaths between them hot, making his heartbeat accelerate again.

They kissed each other slowly, lips moving curiously against each other. Changkyun’s tongue peeked out to lick over Kihyun’s lower lip occasionally, his movements getting increasingly more intense.

Kihyun felt his breaths speed up, his arms feeling a little numb from holding himself up against the mirror at his back. He fell over as his elbow buckled under him, grabbing Changkyun’s thigh instead. He used it to pull away from the kiss, feeling the need to check and make sure that this was really happening.

“I like you like this,” Changkyun said, the look in his eyes intense as he scanned over Kihyun’s face just centimeters away from his. “So open with me.”

“Why are you doing this?” Kihyun had to know, furrowing his brows. He hated reality for pulling him away from something that felt so good, so unstoppable, but he knew that he needed to think seriously about this for both of them.

“Because I want to,” Changkyun smirked, but the way he looked over Kihyun did not seem entirely playful, as if behind it all he also knew how serious this could be. “I just want to.”

Kihyun leaned his forehead against Changkyun’s, hissing in a breath so close to Changkyun’s mouth. He felt pulled by Changkyun without the man doing anything, as if he was a calm but powerful magnet throwing Kihyun off balance and toward himself with just the strength of the magnetic field. His hand holding Changkyun’s thigh tightened before he kissed Changkyun again.

Changkyun let out a soft moan against his lips, barely audible, but still surprising Kihyun with how vocal the man was being. Kihyun truly felt speechless for the first time. Kissing Kihyun back passionately, the rapper lifted his hand to hold the other man’s jaw in his palm, stroking over the cheek before tilting his face in perfect rhythm as their tongues licked over each other. Kihyun felt the warmth of his kiss spread across his face and down his chest, feeling himself begin to sweat again and gasp for breaths, although all Changkyun doing was kissing him. Then, the black-haired man trailed down Kihyun’s neck, lining it with kisses, bites and licks, savoring the salty skin on the display. 

Kihyun gasped at the ministrations, feeling delirious and dizzy from how surreal this moment felt, the room deepening away from him. His hand trailed up Changkyun’s abdomen to wrap under his arm and around his back, pulling the man closer into his neck trying to regain stability in how firm Changkyun’s body felt in his embrace.

As Changkyun continued obsessing over Kihyun’s neck, some kisses slipping under the neck of Kihyun’s T-shirt and over his collarbones, Kihyun’s hand slid up Changkyun’s back and into the black hair, grasping. 

“This is…” Kihyun managed to speak, hearing Changkyun’s breaths change succession against his neck. “This is really intense.”

“I think that’s just you,” Changkyun said, cradling Kihyun’s face in his palm again to hold their faces at perfect level with each other, staring deep into his eyes. “You’re intense.”

Kihyun let out a breathy laugh at that, absolutely not believing that someone with such commanding energy like Changkyun would think Kihyun is more dominating, especially when he was hungrily kissing his neck and grabbing him by the waist to pull their chests closer.

“No way,” Kihyun shook his head, brushing over Changkyun’s lips as he did so. But although he was denying it, something about Changkyun’s description of him as intense impacted him with a sense of pride and intensity that turned to arousal sneaking down to his groin.

Changkyun fell silent again, dipping down to kiss under Kihyun’s earlobe, licking over the shell of the earn to earn a stifled moan from Kihyun. His hand sneaked down his neck, grasping is hungrily, before descending down Kihyun’s chest and slipping under his shirt again, slightly damp from the sweat. The thumb brushed over his hardened nipple, feeling much more sensitive than Kihyun even thought it could feel, then the hand moved down again toward his groin.

Kihyun felt frozen but jittery at the same time. He did not want to accidentally throw Changkyun off his rhythm with a wrong movement from him, but feeling the need to bring him closer, the ache to touch the other man tingling in his fingertips. He dug his fingers into Changkyun’s scalp, slightly scratching as he grabbed a desperate handful of hair, nervously anticipating the movement of Changkyun’s hand. 

In return, the black-haired man bit into his shoulder before grabbing the hem on Kihyun’s shirt and sliding it upwards under his neck. As Kihyun leaned his head back to allow further permission, Changkyun pulled the shirt over Kihyun’s head with a dark gaze in his eyes, glancing up at him from under the wisps of hair falling across his forehead.

Kihyun’s naked back hit the cold mirror behind him, then the warmth began to slowly overwhelm him as he felt Changkyun’s hand slip under the waistband of his pants and towards his erection.

Kihyun ripped his eyes away from the other man’s face as he failed to suppress a moan as it echoed into the room. Changkyun’s hot fingers brushed the sensitive skin of his lower groin, making Kihyun release another pleasured gasp.

“I want to see it face to face this time,” Changkyun groaned, his eyes burning into Kihyun’s and lips hovering closer. “Don’t take your eyes off me.”

Kihyun felt himself unravel under Changkyun’s dominating gaze, the fire spreading through his lower body as Changkyun’s hand cupped his bare erection under the sweatpants. 

“I don’t—” Kihyun let out before interrupting himself with a moan as Changkyun’s hand grabbed his shaft, sliding up and circling his thumb at a tauntingly slow pace around the slit. “I don’t know if I can.”

Changkyun’s hand suddenly slipped out from Kihyun’s pants, and before Kihyun could register the sudden lack of pressure in his deluded state, his vision was met with Changkyun’s hooded gaze. Kihyun watched as the man in front of him spit into his hand and lick over the palm, his tongue kitten-like but the look in his eyes anything but innocent. 

Kihyun bit down on his lip, knowing he could absolutely _not_ let Changkyun know that just the sight of that made him want to scream. It was dirty, but so hot, because Changkyun was the one doing it. As his thoughts swirled in his hand, Changkyun’s hand was back on his dick, now sliding smoother with his saliva. Kihyun threw his head back, still grasping at the sweatshirt on Changkyun’s back to hold himself up and not slide backwards.

Changkyun leaned up and nearly hovered over him as his free hand immediately went into Kihyun’s hair on top of his head to grab a handful and tilt Kihyun’s head up, reconnecting their eyes again.

That movement alone sent jolts up Kihyun’s back and down his legs as Changkyun’s hand kept working him over his full length, slow and hard, then doing everything he could to make it a surreal experience for the man at his mercy. Changkyun kept Kihyun’s forehead pressed against his, feeling the gripping hand on his back dig in more desperately now as Kihyun let out breathy moans that kept echoing around the large studio space.

Kihyun struggled to keep looking into Changkyun’s eyes. But then he watched the other man break his own rule as he stared hungrily at his lips now. He leaned in to catch Kihyun’s lower lip with his teeth, the slight pain somehow catalyzing the pleasure and intensifying it so Kihyun got closer and closer to the edge, the wave beginning to overwhelm him.

“I want to watch you cum,” Changkyun’s voice sounded against his lips. The command pushed Kihyun over the edge, letting the intense wave of his orgasm wash over his body from his ears to his toes, spilling himself into Changkyun’s slowing hand. His eyes had to close shut because all his senses felt completely overwhelmed, and if he kept looking at Changkyun’s mesmerized face like that he would absolutely go insane.

Changkyun’s hand rested for a moment as he watched the other man catch his breath with eyes closed and back leaning against the mirror. Kihyun bit down on his lip, regaining his sense of reality when Changkyun pulled his hand out, then leaned over to grab the towel laying over on the other side of then man next to him.

He used the towel to wipe his hand, before dropping it in his lap and looking up at Kihyun from under his bangs with an unreadable gaze.

“You’re breathtaking,” he said, making Kihyun look back at him again.

_He’s full of jokes tonight. First saying I’m intense, then violently overwhelming my whole rationality._

“I’m the one—” he gasped to catch his breath. “The one that’s still trying to breathe properly.”

Changkyun smirked, looking over the blush that was spread over Kihyun’s cheeks and down his chin, glistening with sweat. Kihyun felt Changkyun stare at him before he realized that the man also had a visible erection in his sweatpants. He gasped to himself, before reaching over to grab Changkyun’s thigh before his head told him to run.

“What should I do?” Kihyun asked, slightly wincing at himself at how stupid he must have sounded. But he saw Changkyun just smirk again, raising his eyebrow and tossing the towel down on Kihyun’s lap.

“Don’t worry about it,” he said, then placed a kiss on his shoulder before looking into Kihyun’s eyes again. “That was really more than I can handle,” he said playfully. “Someone could still come in.”

With those words he leaned up to kiss the tip of Kihyun’s nose then got up to stand, the actions freezing the other man in his movements at how strangely affectionate he was being. It was strangely affectionate, but also strangely distant. Changkyun pulled away so suddenly, leaving Kihyun so vulnerable without the warmth that he had gotten used to in the last half an hour.

He gripped the towel in his fist, watching the man walk toward the exit, thoughts beginning to cloud and confuse his head.

“I’ll be around if you want to go home together,” Changkyun called over his shoulder, grabbing at the doorway as he slipped out and into the hallway, leaving Kihyun alone among the mirrors, with the soiled towel wrinkled in his hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in this house we dont know a bottom changkyun 
> 
> (ay ay ay)


	4. (3)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I wouldn’t want it to be anyone but you.”

“Stop walking away from me.”

Changkyun whipped around at the sudden, familiar voice behind him, his hand stopping in the middle of its reach towards the milk in the refrigerator. His other hand grasping the handle of the door, he pushed it almost closed to look at Kihyun, standing there arms crossed in the dimly lit kitchen doorway.

“Uh, sorry?” Changkyun said in a whisper, looking around the room. The kitchen of their dorm was connected to the large living room, with small night lights illuminating paths to the bathrooms and bedrooms. The light shining from below Kihyun warped around his skin, exaggerating the cheekbones and angles of the short man. Changkyun noticed that in the past month as they were working towards the comeback Kihyun has lost some weight, probably as a result of his evenings with Wonho in the gym. Well, some evenings.

Kihyun glanced towards the hallway before approaching Changkyun. The digital clock of the microwave displayed 2:24 AM. Kihyun’s determined steps sounded through the kitchen before he dragged them out to minimize the noise, stopping close to the man who was still frozen in his spot, lost somewhere in his mind.

“You need to stop walking away from me after…” Kihyun cleared his throat but refused to break eye contact and show his discomfort with the topic at hand. “After touching me.”

Alone time has been hard to come by since the work resumed for the comeback, so Kihyun was grasping for moments to corner Changkyun, first in the photoshoot studio and now in the middle of the night, when they were scheduled to wake up in 3 hours. He needed the other man to take responsibility for the way he was making him feel.

Coupled with his own confusing feelings about how easily he had given himself up to Changkyun’s touch in the dance studio was the lack of understanding about what the younger man was feeling. Kihyun could not understand Changkyun’s actions and then his reactions—making him cum shirtless against the mirror, then slipping into the hallway to leave Kihyun to deal with the fallout.

Kihyun was stubborn. He needed answers, and he felt embarrassingly desperate to get them. Maybe it was his pride, or maybe it was because Changkyun’s voice had the magical ability to drown out his own voice in his head. The voice asking why Kihyun kept thinking about it and how he could not get his head to reject and deny any of it. Why did Changkyun’s eyes feel like they were burning holes into him the longer he looked?

He was pulled from his void of thoughts by the sound of the fridge door closing, eliminating the bright light that was pouring from it and leaving the two men alone in the night with the buzzing of the appliances.

“Hm,” Changkyun just hummed, looking at his feet before glancing up at Kihyun’s face. Kihyun felt the twinge of anger rise on the back of his neck, annoyed. “You think so? Maybe I should. Guess I was just scared that you’d rip out my arms immediately after. You can be pretty scary.”

Kihyun frowned with a huff, staring the other man down. The other was just smirking.

“You’re not actually afraid of me,” Kihyun rolled his eyes. Changkyun turned to lean his shoulder on the fridge, face to face with the man at his height, now half-grinning.

“Of course not,” he shrugged. “Otherwise I would have never touched you in the first place. But watching you squirm is so much fun, I guess I just couldn’t help myself.”

Kihyun’s frown unwrapped as his eyebrows shot up in surprise, a cold shiver descending down his spine. The fear that all this playing around was just for Changkyun’s sick sense of excitement was weighing heavily in the back of his head. If there was something that Kihyun felt absolutely certain about is that he was not one to be played with.

_Is this what he really thinks?_

“So, this is just…fun for you?” Kihyun asked.

“What else would it be?” Changkyun uttered, pushing himself off the fridge towards Kihyun. The other man did not move an inch, breath stuck in his throat but trying not to show it.

“I don’t understand how it can be fun for you when you walk away without getting anything out of it,” Kihyun finally managed, feeling himself run out of breath as he was speaking, chest constricting as he felt the warmth of Changkyun’s body now closer to his.

Changkyun looked into his eyes, tilting his head to the left like a curious animal, glancing up and down Kihyun’s face.

“Watching you crack under my touch is addicting,” his face was so close that every vowel was hitting Kihyun’s bottom lip.

_Something about his aura is magnetic._

“But if you want to reciprocate so badly, all you have to do is ask,” Changkyun continued, lips pulled up in a mischievous smile and eyes now focused on Kihyun’s mouth.

Kihyun refused to move, instead straightening out his back, trying to subconsciously regain control of the situation. 

Or at least of his feelings, ricocheting around in his chest.

“But I don’t think I’ll let you,” Changkyun whispered, his sensual voice vibrating against the thick silence. “Unless I know you really want it.”

Kihyun sucked in a breath of air through his teeth, the heat immediately spreading it in his chest. Before his mind went hazy all he could think about was that he absolutely could not show how Changkyun’s low voice, directed at him so menacingly, was weakening him at the knees.

His hand reacted before his brain could function, grabbing the back of Changkyun’s head and pushing the man’s face towards his, catching his lips in a rough kiss. Kihyun pressed his lips onto Changkyun’s, inhaling the man’s scent through his nose before moving his mouth against Changkyun’s, lips touching roughly, licking along his bottom lip and grazing with his teeth.

“Ah, fuck,” Kihyun whispered against Changkyun’s lips, completely overwhelmed by the other man’s warmth, his scent of roses and musk, his attention focused only on kissing Kihyun. He spoke because his movements were not enough to release everything he was suddenly feeling.

Changkyun’s hands reached up to cup Kihyun’s face, sliding his thumb over Kihyun’s glistening lips and pulling them apart. He leaned his forehead on Kihyun’s, brushing their noses together, eyes so hooded they were almost closed, before he tilted his head to catch Kihyun in a deep kiss. His tongue brushed against Kihyun’s, groaning at the wet heat, as if he was getting drunk from Kihyun’s mouth. 

Kihyun opened his eyes, mesmerized by the sight of the man in front of him, lips red, a blush coloring his cheeks and dark eyes hard to make out under the eyelashes. He looked like he was in a deep, quiet bliss.

“I—” Kihyun spoke, swallowing once but finally failing to hold his words back. “I think I do.”

Suddenly the light from the bathroom down the hallway flashed before disappearing as they heard a door lock. But instead of shoving away, Kihyun’s hand grabbed a handful of Changkyun’s hair, gripping while biting down on his own bottom lip. His eyes squeezed shut for a moment as he released a rough breath against Changkyun’s cheek. Pulling away was much more difficult than he had anticipated.

_You’re being reckless, Kihyun._

He finally managed to pull away, the soft black strands of hair slipping between his fingers as he took back his hand and stepped away. He thanked the shred of self-control that still remained within him for giving him the ability to retreat from the warmth of the other man, who was standing in front of him with arms now at his side. Changkyun kept his calculating gaze on Kihyun’s face before looking away and walking towards the bedrooms in the hallway, the one he was sharing with Minhyuk. He paused as he passed by.

“I’m not convinced,” he said. His steps followed into the hallway, the movement of feet littering the hallway with shadows that danced with the night lights.

+++  
……

Minhyuk muttered something under his breath, sitting cross-legged across from Changkyun on the floor. His light hands were softly brushing a wet cotton pad over Changkyun’s eyelids as the other was telling him some story about their van ride home from the company. His voice was changing tones as he was going into complaints and then jokes, rewarding the bedroom with Minhyuk’s bright laughter. 

Kihyun glanced over at them from his position on the bed, stealing the moment that he could look at Changkyun’s profile, soft and beautiful, as his eyes were closed to allow Minhyuk to take the makeup off. Sitting up to rip his sight away from the man, Kihyun pushed his slipping headband up his forehead, bringing his phone up in front of his face to keep scrolling. Although Kihyun felt lucky to have his own bedroom this time in their dorm, he enjoyed watching the rituals in Changkyun and Minhyuk’s room.

Although their room could be a complete mess.

“Ah, no!” Minhyuk suddenly exclaimed. Kihyun looked over and noticed Changkyun’s eyes were now open, looking at Minhyuk curiously. The other man was staring wide-eyed at his phone. “I completely forgot that I promised to spend time in the studio with Hoseok.”

Minhyuk tapped viciously at his phone touchscreen to cancel the reminder alarm that popped up, before he jumped up from his position on the floor. 

“Here,” Minhyuk turned to Kihyun, throwing the cotton pad at the man. “Finish him off.”

Changkyun laughed wide-mouthed from the floor, patting the space across from himself for Kihyun to come to. Kihyun grasped the cotton pad between his fingers, slipping down from his bed and grabbing the makeup removing solution from the floor. 

“Don’t stay too late,” Kihyun warned Minhyuk, who was hastily slipping his shoes on and launching himself out of the room. Minhyuk waved a hand at him dismissively, saying his goodbyes and leaving the two men alone in the room lit with pleasant beige lights.

“Seems like he got most of it off,” Kihyun said, examining the smooth, glowy skin of Changkyun, who was following Kihyun’s observation with his own eyes. Kihyun dabbed the solution onto the cotton pad, avoiding the other’s focused gaze. He then met his eyes, raising the cotton ball towards his face.

“He didn’t get to my lips,” Changkyun said, tilting his head up at Kihyun and leaning his elbow on his knee. He pursed his lips with a kissy noise, squeezing his eyes cutely. Kihyun looked away with a short exhale of breath but rolled his eyes to recover from the sudden spike in his heart pace, hoping Changkyun did not notice.

Every moment they have been spending with each other Kihyun felt like he was battling his own behavior, his heartbeats and breaths. It seems like he almost forgot what it was like to be normal, to be unaffected by Changkyun’s presence. But the man was determined to make it hard on him, with his glowing skin, fruity lips, messy hair, teasing laughter. Kihyun damned himself for overanalyzing all of Changkyun’s actions ever since those nights, for being so affected.

He felt his eyes glaze over in thought as he swiped the cotton pad gently over Changkyun’s bottom lip, parting the man’s mouth as he weakly held it in place. Kihyun sucked his bottom lip into his mouth absentmindedly before realizing that he was literally biting his lip at Changkyun. He immediately let his bottom lip go, pressing his lips together in concentration.

He moved onto the upper lip, giving it a couple gentle swipes as the dark rose color of the lipstick stuck to the cotton pad, revealing Changkyun’s wet, pink lips. Kihyun could see his tongue shift in his mouth, the glistening hypnotizing him.

_You’re totally staring into his mouth._

He looked up to see if Changkyun noticed, but other man, being quietly observant as he always was, seemed to not have taken his eyes off Kihyun since he landed on the floor.

“…What?” Kihyun frowned, feeling the hooded, non-blinking gaze on him. Changkyun closed his mouth, shaking his head innocently.

“You’re very thorough,” Changkyun said with smiling eyes and relaxed mouth. He shifted forward toward Kihyun, reaching out his arm. The sudden motion caused the other man to jerk back, catching himself from falling backwards by leaning on his arms.

“Whoa, chill,” Changkyun laughed, stopping his torso inches away. He took the cotton ball out of Kihyun’s hand, examining the color palette that resulted from all the makeup that it took off his face. He turned it around in front of his face before looking back at Kihyun.

“Why are you being so jumpy?” Changkyun asked, but the smile playing in his irises hinted that he knew exactly why. “You think I’m gonna pounce?”

“Not exactly,” Kihyun answered, narrowing his eyes. There was a tense moment of silence, then drowned out by Kihyun’s heartbeat in his ears. “But you’re very unpredictable.”

“Mhm,” Changkyun hummed, straightening out his back and forming his lips into a relaxed smile. “And don’t you just hate it.”

“Don’t be dramatic, I don’t hate it,” Kihyun pushed Changkyun’s knee with annoyance but could not keep the smile off his face. “But it took some time to get used to.”

He would not say that he was still not used to it. 

Of what he learned about Changkyun over their years in the band together was that the younger man could definitely be dramatic. He could also range anywhere from adorable to cunning, from childish to wise. He knew those facts, but the combination of those facts was what made the other man so unpredictable.

“I think that’s what I like so much about you, hyung,” Changkyun spoke again with his low voice. “Watching you try to fit things and people into molds that make sense to you, trying to make sense of the world how you’re so used to seeing it.” He paused, tongue quickly peeking over his bottom lip as he looked up from under wavy wisps of hair and long eyelashes. “But then you eventually saying fuck it and accepting it all anyway, in turn changing yourself to understand it all.”

Kihyun observed Changkyun intently as he spoke. When silence fell over them again, Kihyun sucked his lips into his mouth before letting go, leaving it slightly parted as he released a sigh.

“I wouldn’t be able to do this if I stuck with the conservative ways that I’ve been raised to see the world, right?” Kihyun said with a shrug, trying not to show how heavy this conversation was beginning to weigh in his chest. “This, I mean, being an idol with all of you.”

Changkyun laughed lightly, placing a hand on Kihyun’s knee and giving it an affectionate squeeze. Physical interaction between the bandmates was not foreign to them, but the way Kihyun’s body hyper-focused on the warmth of Changkyun’s hand reminded him that this was not the same.

“But you,” Kihyun spoke again, his voice quieter this time as he looked down in his lap. “With you I still feel like I’m always catching up. I’ll never figure you out.”

With a warm exhale he looked up to meet Changkyun’s eyes, embarrassed but still owning his confession, trying not to let his weakness be obvious in his body language. The other man was looking back at him quietly, tilting his head again like an animal studying a new phenomenon.

Kihyun sighed nervously, hoping to calm his pounding heartbeat in his ears. He reached over to the side toward Minhyuk’s makeup bag, taking out a clean cotton pad and putting the makeup removing solution away. Looking back at Changkyun, nervous gaze somewhere between his mouth and pointy chin, he swiped the cotton pad over the clean lips, still glistening from the makeup remover. The soft lips gave easily, moving with the wipe, the warm breath escaping from the mouth and caressing Kihyun’s fingers. After wiping off the chemical glow, Kihyun clenched the cotton pad in his fist and launched the few inches forward to kiss Changkyun, closing his eyes as the warm mouth met his. 

He felt Changkyun’s breath halt at his actions before his body relaxed and he detached for a moment, exhaling softly against Kihyun’s lips, and kissing him again. Changkyun tilted his head to deepen the kiss, moving his mouth first to catch his bottom lip, licking over it tentatively, before moving to the top lip. His hand moved up along Kihyun’s shoulder to the back of the neck, holding it with a reassuring grip and guiding Kihyun into a deep kiss. Kihyun’s tongue shyly peeked out to lick over Changkyun’s lips, earning a quiet, low groan from the other man before he collided their tongues together. Kihyun’s hands pushed at Changkyun’s chest to separate the two of them, the building heat between them becoming overwhelming.

Kihyun felt like he did not breathe the whole time, now panting as they parted before looking up at Changkyun’s narrow, glazed eyes. Was the slight dizziness from his lack of breathing or from the intensity of this moment?

The younger man observed, still and patient, the hand on the back of his neck resting and fingers gently playing with the hair on the nape. The affectionate touch sent shivers down Kihyun’s spine, surely felt by the other man touching his skin.

“Okay?” Changkyun’s low voice vibrated against his lips as he inched closer, waiting for Kihyun to close the distance again. As Kihyun was battling every thought racing at light speed through his head, the more he zoned in on Changkyun’s warmth, his clean, rose-like scent and deep, hidden pupils, those thoughts seemed to slowly wash away. The only thing he began to feel was the pooling of heat in his chest. He reached out to cup Changkyun’s face in his hands, meeting their lips in an intense kiss.

Changkyun responded eagerly, tongue licking over Kihyun’s lips and teeth adventurously brushing over Kihyun’s lip. Kihyun jerked at the unexpectedly raw feeling of Changkyun’s teeth at his bottom lip, but it was that exact action that made the heat in his chest descend lower and spread through his body. He whimpered quietly, his hands sneaking into Changkyun’s soft hair, gripping it as he felt his body weaken under Changkyun’s intense aura.

Snapping out of this dream-like moment for a split second he realized that his back hit the floor, with Changkyun crawling on top of him, separating from Kihyun’s in the movement. The younger man kissed down the line of Kihyun’s jaw, licking up from under the earlobe over the shell of the ear. Kihyun’s immediate reaction, other than the goosebumps covering his skin, was to tighten his legs together under Changkyun. With one arm leaning next to Kihyun’s head on the carpet, Changkyun used his other hand to push Kihyun’s knees apart to crawl between them. The heat building between their bodies was enveloping Kihyun completely, making him so disoriented that all he could register was the taste and scent of the man on top of him, descending down with a shower of kisses down his neck and towards his collarbone. Kihyun threw his head back, unable to suppress a moan, feeling a blush cover his skin from his neck up to his cheekbones.

“You’re so gorgeous like this,” Changkyun’s low voice was like a warm breeze against his neck. “I think that you can be sure of one thing about me. That I want you.”

Kihyun choked on a gasp threatening to leave his throat. His hands squeezed Changkyun’s shoulders, rising up his neck and back into his hair, grasping for anything to release the buildup of emotion in his chest. He forced Changkyun’s head back up to kiss him passionately, sucking his bottom lip into his mouth.

“Fuck,” Kihyun gasped as they parted. “You’re so intense. Why are you like this?”

Changkyun chuckled, dipping his head as he did so. Looking up from under his messy, black bangs he slid his hand under the hem of Kihyun’s loose shirt, fanning out over his stomach, pressing his thumb onto the hipbone before gripping the man’s side. Still hovering over Kihyun, his eyes jumped over the face of the man under him, as if memorizing every blemish and color spread across the skin.

A strange feeling developed inside Kihyun, being so intensely studied like this by Changkyun. He knew how quietly observant and calculating the young man could be, but there were so many thoughts hidden behind those dark eyes that Kihyun could not begin to guess.

The warmth of the hand at his side, sliding up now towards his chest, heightened the arousal between his legs where Changkyun was so comfortably situated. Probably feeling the man under him become harder at the touch.

“I want to feel your naked skin on mine,” Kihyun said, then immediately hiding his face in Changkyun’s neck, kissing the soft skin right under his jawline. Proceeding along the sharp line with licks and kisses, becoming more and more intoxicated by the taste of Changkyun’s skin, Kihyun felt a hand in his hair grasp at the strands before the younger man above him spoke.

“Let’s go to your room.”

Kihyun barely remembered the path to his empty room as they shuffled inside and immediately shut his door. The next thing that his senses could register was the overwhelming heat of Changkyun’s body as he was shoved a bit roughly onto his own bed.

“You’re acting impatient,” Kihyun breathed out after steadying himself by leaning up on his arms, looking up at Changkyun looming over him.

“That’s because I am,” Changkyun said, coming up to stand between Kihyun’s legs.

Kihyun did not realize that it was physically possible to become exponentially more aroused in the span of milliseconds. That was until this moment, with Changkyun looking down at him with an unreadable look in his dark eyes, dominating the entire scene. 

Kihyun felt completely under Changkyun’s spell in this moment. If the younger man would have told him to jump off the roof, he would have probably seriously considered it.

In an attempt to regain control, Kihyun reached out his hands to grip the bottom of Changkyun’s shirt, pulling the man closer to himself in the process and pushing the shirt up and over his head. 

_What the hell are you going with this? You’ve never done this before._

Nevertheless, he channeled what was left of his own confidence to take his own shirt off, tossing it in vague direction on his bed. Changkyun closed the distance between them in that moment, taking Kihyun’s face into his palms to tilt his head up for a passionate kiss, colliding their chests together.

Kihyun panted between their kisses, the body heat feeling so foreign and unusual, but so oddly good. He could hardly believe that having someone so close in his space like this would feel so arousing, so addicting.

He wrapped his arms around Changkyun’s waist, hesitantly at first, but then with some more confidence as Changkyun continued to hungrily kiss his lips, becoming a bit sloppier and biting more, then descending down towards Kihyun’s shoulder with a trail of caresses. He slid his teeth over the skin there, as if tasting out the quality of the flesh, before sinking in his teeth and following up with his hot tongue. Kihyun gasped, overwhelmed by the spike of pain intermingling with the pleasure that was overriding his entire body. He heard Changkyun let out another groan as his nails dug into the younger man’s back at his ministrations.

“Tell me if it’s too much,” Changkyun uttered into his ear, his hands sliding down his back to press Kihyun closer to him by the waist. He nuzzled into Kihyun’s neck, tasting the skin there again before coming up to lock eyes with the other man, exchanging each other’s hot breaths.

“It already is,” Kihyun said but did not move away, looking deeply into the other man’s eyes, obstructed by a few strands of hair. “It’s all already too much. You’re too much. You’re so…”

Kihyun trailed off, as if hypnotized by Changkyun’s intense gaze, before throwing himself forward to roughly kiss the other man again. 

He has never felt anything close to this before. None of his somewhat romantic or sexual experiences in the past could even come close to what it felt like to be with Changkyun, to have the other man’s attentive and dangerous gaze only on him. The first kiss, like the last kiss, felt like a firework dissipating through his entire body. But the most intense effect was on his mind. He already felt pushed so far, but all the reservations he thought he would have about this continued seeming less and less important as Changkyun continued obsessing over his skin.

The haze of his thoughts was interrupted by Changkyun again as the younger man gripped under Kihyun’s knees to raise his legs, effectively forcing Kihyun to fall back onto the bed. Changkyun crawled up on top of him, dipping his tongue in Kihyun’s belly button and moving down to kiss the skin that was available at the waistline. Hooking his fingers into the waistband of Kihyun’s sweatpants, he looked up.

“Kihyun,” he whispered against the tender skin, forcing the other man to open his eyes and look down at him in such a provocative position between his legs. “Can I?”

Kihyun bit down on his bottom lip, blushing more before throwing his head back on the bed and placing an arm over his eyes, physically unable to look at such an intense sight. If he looked at what Changkyun was doing to him, he would have probably cum at the first touch again.

Instead, he just nodded.

Cold air of the ambient room hit his thighs as Changkyun slid his sweatpants off, pooling the fabric at his feet. Then, Kihyun felt the younger man lick along the stripe of skin right above the waistband of his briefs, the heat of his hovering body torturous and arousing as the briefs followed his sweatpants to the floor, exposing himself completely now.

“Oh, God,” Kihyun’s words escaped his mouth, feeling immensely embarrassed to be naked under his bandmate. That feeling was shoved out of his head by the strike of pleasure through his core as Changkyun licked over the head of his erection, then closing his lips around the tip.

“Fuck,” Kihyun couldn’t help himself, being completely overwhelmed by Changkyun’s touch, warmth, smell, his entire being. Keeping his eyes shut he put a hand over his mouth to force down any embarrassing things that were threatening to spill out. But Changkyun wasn’t having it. One hand holding himself up, the other hand wrapped around Kihyun’s wrist to take the silencing hand away from his mouth.

“No,” Changkyun commanded, releasing Kihyun’s erection for a moment. “Your voice. I want to hear it.”

Kihyun bit down painfully on his lip, arching his back at the combination of Changkyun’s low voice and the way he proceeded to swallow his length whole into his mouth immediately after he spoke. As he felt Changkyun’s lips slide down the shaft, he released a moan, automatically weaving his hand into the other man’s hair.

Changkyun hummed in approval, despite the tight grip in his hair, and proceeded to go down on Kihyun slowly, meticulously, using the plumpness of his lips and the skill of his tongue to caress against the hardness as he moved up and down the shaft, stopping at the tip to dip his tongue in and circle around. Kihyun’s thighs began quivering slightly at how well Changkyun was working him, head thrashing side to side and hips beginning to gently thrust with Changkyun’s movements, desperate moans escaping his throat.

“Changkyun!” Kihyun exclaimed, gripping Changkyun’s hair harder now, pulling the man’s mouth off his length. For the first time since his back hit the bed, he managed to look Changkyun in the eyes, deciding that he would not immediately explode if he did so. 

“I don’t want to finish yet,” he said through a couple rushed breaths. Scrambling to sit up on the bed, he urgently pulled at Changkyun’s arm to bring him closer. “Kiss me.”

After catching a glimpse of Changkyun’s smile, Kihyun dove in to capture his bottom lip with his own, closing his eyes to breathe in the other man. He hungrily licked and bit at the lips, his tongue slipping out to clash with Changkyun’s, mesmerized by the arousal that the other man was washing him with.

“You’re making me crazy,” Kihyun whispered as they parted, gripping the back of the other man’s head to press their foreheads together as he was catching his breath. 

“What do you want, Kih?” Changkyun asked, his lips barely brushing over Kihyun’s as he spoke. Kihyun looked up, their eyelashes almost touching at the movement.

“I…” Kihyun bit his lip. “I want to touch you too.”

With his words, he snuck his hands around Changkyun’s naked waist, dipping into his neck to nuzzle it. He sucked on the flesh there, tasting the saltiness of the skin, along with a taste uniquely belonging to the other man. It was impossible to tell whose body the warmth was coming from, their chests pressed so close together, clinging onto each other as their hands roamed over shoulders, backs and caressing any skin that was within reach.

Changkyun’s words echoed in his head.

_What do you want?_

“Let me sit on you,” Kihyun uttered, hiding his face in the soft neck, his words brushing as soft air along the dip towards the shoulder.

“Please,” Changkyun groaned. He abandoned his position between Kihyun’s legs before sitting on the bed, leaning back on the pillows by the headboard. He caressed Kihyun gently from the shoulder down the arm before grabbing the other man’s wrist and pulling him on top of himself. Kihyun let himself be dragged, positioning his legs on either side of Changkyun’s hips, sitting down in his lap. He placed his palms on Changkyun’s shoulders, shifting his position. The fabric of Changkyun’s sweatpants felt less that ideal against his naked groin—he let out a hiss as their hips connected, dropping his forehead to Changkyun’s shoulder as the movement still managed to send sparks up his back.

The cloudy haze was taking over Kihyun’s mind again as he recognized that Changkyun was equally hard under him, Kihyun basically sitting on the erection restricted by the layers of clothes. The friction of Kihyun’s hips strongly affected Changkyun, one hand immediately gripping Kihyun’s thigh and the other wrapped around his back to keep them pressed close. Kihyun looked down at Changkyun, his face a few centimeters below him, mouth parted open to release the barely audible moans, eyes almost closed with a blush covering his glowing skin. 

Fascinated by the sight of the younger man appearing so sensitive and aroused, Kihyun grinded his hips down again, but in the process the wave of pleasure ascended from his groin; a whine escaped his throat. Their bodies almost melting into each other, even with a few layers of fabric still separating their hips, it still felt too incredible to be true.

Grasping at the back of Changkyun’s head, Kihyun kissed up toward his ear. Changkyun’s head rolled to the side in response, exposing more skin there as the low moan grumbled from his throat. Kihyun suddenly remembered how sensitive Changkyun’s ears were. He boldly licked along the shell of the ear, then sucking on the earlobe.

“Fuck, Kih…” Changkyun moaned into his ear, thrusting his hips up and pressing the man on top of him impossibly closer into himself. “Take them off. Please.”

He did not dare disobey Changkyun’s command, sliding off the man’s lap for a moment to take off his sweatpants and boxers. Kihyun was becoming addicted to the way Changkyun’s already low voice sounded when he was aroused, hoarse and sensual. 

Climbing back into the man’s lap, Kihyun felt Changkyun’s aggressive and needy hands wrap around his back and push him close again, their chests colliding and their erections touching in the process. Kihyun gasped, this feeling so new and foreign, in disbelief about how far he was willing to go with this.

“You…” Kihyun spoke, leaning his forehead against Changkyun’s and wrapping his arms around the man’s neck. “This feels really good.”

“You feel fucking amazing,” Changkyun blurted out, capturing Kihyun’s lips in a hungry kiss and moving his hips, as if he wasn’t in complete control of his own motions. Changkyun’s hands gripped at his lower back, leading his hips so their dicks were sliding against each other, the heat between their bodies impossibly arousing and increasing the tension between them. Kihyun threw his head back, continuing the slow thrusting of his hips against Changkyun’s, his breath quickening and heartbeat pumping through every vein, ringing loud in his ears.

“You, like this, here,” Changkyun said against the skin of his neck, softly biting at the skin there and kissing along his shoulder. “The most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. I want to touch you, see you, feel you.”

Kihyun moaned again, barely registering Changkyun’s words although they were spoken so close. The pleasure that Changkyun was drowning him in was impossibly overwhelming, as if he was feeling it not just in his groin but in his entire body. Beads of sweat were forming at his temples and shoulder blades, slipping down the skin in thin streams.

“T-touch me,” Kihyun spoke right against Changkyun’s ear, licking the shell again and biting at the top of it.

Suddenly Changkyun’s hand was at the back of Kihyun’s head, forcing their faces close together as the younger man pulled him into a passionate kiss, tongues and teeth colliding messily, as his other hand snuck between their bodies and wrapped around both of their erections. The feeling of the other man’s hand on him almost pushed him over the edge, feeling a coil of pleasure building exponentially in his groin and his mind turning white.

“Ah— I can’t—” Kihyun moaned against his lips. “I can’t last like this.”

“Let go, Kihyun,” Changkyun’s hand was pumping their erections together, not too roughly for the lack of lubrication but enough that the friction was spreading incredible pleasure across their senses.

The fog of building pleasure surrounded Kihyun as he tightened his arms around Changkyun’s neck, burying his face in the crook and painting the skin there with breaths and shaky pants as his moans were rolling off his tongue one after another, the tight coil in his groin unraveling as his orgasm washed over him. Biting down on the skin of Changkyun’s shoulder his scream was stifled as he released himself between them. 

“Fuck,” Changkyun moaned. “You’re fucking hot.”

Curses were leaving Changkyun’s lips as his hand kept pumping them before his hips buckled and his orgasm followed, washing over his body with intense pleasure and then numbing his senses out. He hissed to keep his moans at bay, riding out his climax as their cum mixed on their abdomens.

Changkyun’s hand slowed down to a stop between them, drenched in the aftermath of their orgasms. Kihyun fell limp against Changkyun, his head on his shoulder as he was struggling to catch his breath, knees tightening automatically.

After slowing his heartbeat somewhat, Kihyun raised his sweaty forehead off Changkyun’s shoulder, before looking down and realizing that he left a fairly severe bitemark on the golden skin.

“Shit,” he hissed, looking at Changkyun in a panic. “I’m so sorry.”

“Hey,” Changkyun answered immediately, cupping Kihyun’s face with his clean hand. “It’s fine. It’s more than fine. It’s kind of what— Uh, nevermind.”

_What sent him over the edge?_

Kihyun attempted to connect the puzzle pieces of Changkyun’s behavior but found himself too exhausted to do so. Instead, he parted from the man’s body, feeling sticky from all mixtures of body fluids. The movement was difficult, his strength drained from his body from the intensity of everything.

“I need to shower,” Kihyun said with a soft chuckle, looking down at the soiled space between them, uddenly feeling ridiculous at the aftermath of this situation.

“I’ll let you do that,” the man under him said. Kihyun frowned slightly, trying to read the dark eyes.

_Is he trying to run again?_

“Not that I wouldn’t want to join you,” Changkyun smirked, feeling Kihyun’s intensive gaze on him. His hand pushed up Kihyun’s headband back up over his forehead, then sneaking through the hair gently before resting on the neck. “I really don’t want to make you any more uncomfortable.”

“I’m not. I’m not uncomfortable,” Kihyun responded, then bit down on his bottom lip in thought. Sure, he was out of his comfort zone, but everything he did he wanted to do in that moment, and that was not an uncomfortable place for him to be in. “I’ve just…never been in this situation before. With anyone.”

There were a few seconds of silence between them as they looked into each other’s eyes. Kihyun let the quiet rest between them, feeling an affection build up in his chest at the assuring way Changkyun was looking at him, how his thumb was softly playing with his hair at the back of the neck.

“But I wouldn’t want it to be anyone but you.”

With those words he quickly slipped off Changkyun’s lap before he started blushing visibly. He turned his back to the man remaining on the bed as he walked towards the bathroom door connected to the bedroom. Entering the cold tile space and closing the door behind him, Kihyun hoped that, for some reason, Changkyun would still be there, on his bed, when he returned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy holidays, fellow monbebe and stay fighting!
> 
> I've made a stan twitter very recently if anyone would like to interact please feel free: twitter.com/achooagagaga
> 
> Thank you very much for reading and I look forward to any feedback <3


	5. (4)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How can we even begin to heal?

Cold water splashed messily over his face, getting drops into the stands of hair stuck to his eyebrows. The light of this hotel bathroom felt strangely severe, washing over every wrinkle and blemish on his skin, analyzing its history. With eyes closed shut he reached to the side to grab a hand towel, patting the moist skin dry with a quick succession of movements.

Looking up, Kihyun connected with his own eyes through the mirror. The intense light was suddenly like a flash from a camera, bringing up the image of Changkyun behind him like the first night the younger man touched him. His cheeks immediately flushed at the polaroid-like memory before his eyes, reminding him of the orgasm that washed over him at Changkyun’s touch, then proceeding to drown him in an ocean of new feelings for weeks afterwards.

He theoretically should be prepared for whatever comes, now that he was sharing a hotel room with him.

The band was doing a visit in Japan, giving a series of light interviews before they needed to head back to Seoul to put in final preparations for their comeback album. Although the comebacks exhausted Kihyun to unimaginable lengths, he always felt excitement when they finally came. The months of work finally paying off in fans’ reactions, love, and the reception from the media. This is why he became an idol, to make the hard work worth it.

He shook his head to finally disconnect his own gaze from the mirror, feeling a little insane about sinking so deeply into this thoughtful trance. He even let out a laugh, throwing the towel to the side and proceeding his nighttime skincare routine.

Applying the last bit of moisturizer to his fingertips, he exited the bathroom with tired steps, flipping off the light switch a bit awkwardly with his elbow. His fingertips were busy patting the cream all around the glistening skin, making sure it penetrated into the pores and left him glowing the next morning.

“Be nice to that face,” Changkyun complained from his bed by the window. He was laid on his back, with his phone balanced on his chest by his fingers. “I like it, so be nice to it.”

Kihyun’s pats stopped, and so did his steps, taken aback by the comment, before he resumed, forcefully nonchalant. 

Although playing it cool was becoming less and less of an option around Changkyun lately.

Kihyun felt his face flush up before concentrating his face into a sort of a frown, really trying to seem unaffected. 

“Yeah, okay,” he said, plopping down on his own bed that was closest to the bathroom. When they first entered their hotel room, they just automatically went to the beds they wanted, Changkyun picking the window and Kihyun picking the other. The lack of argument over who should have which bed almost disappointed Kihyun. Just another moment of confusion about exactly what kind of a person Changkyun is.

“What are you watching?” he eventually asked, rubbing the leftover cream over his hands and down over his wrists. Changkyun turned to watch him, holding his gaze on Kihyun’s hands, before looking up at his face with his answer.

“Hyungwonnie’s live,” he spoke, turning over on his side towards Kihyun, still holding his phone between his hands. “His and Shownu’s are my favorite. They’re both just so awkward in their own way.”

Kihyun pressed his lips together to hold in a laugh but it still managed to erupt from his chest. His eyes grinned in a wide smile as he reached over to take a sip from his bottle on the nightstand.

“Come on, that’s their charm,” Kihyun said after swallowing, twisting the bottle cap to close it up. 

Changkyun brushed a hand through his hair, now dyed a dark red for this comeback, still soft and shiny from the recent treatments, as he laid again on his back. He looked up at Kihyun, patting the spot next to him.

“Come here,” he said.

Kihyun felt his breath pause in his throat. There were so many options of responses that were flying through his head.

_First of all, I’m not a dog._

But he did not want to argue. Because he wanted to come there. Badly.

“To watch?” he asked, raising his eyebrows.

“To watch,” Changkyun grinned, then looking back at his phone screen.

After an appropriate moment of hesitation, Kihyun pushed off his own bed and sat down next to Changkyun. As the younger man shifted away to give him space, he threw his legs up onto the soft, white covers before situating himself on the pillows next to Changkyun. He leaned up on his elbow to watch Hyungwon on the phone screen as their bandmate was holding an awkward pause with a line-like smile.

Watching Hyungwon’s Vlive was one of the most boring things he has ever done, but having Changkyun’s proximity—his clean scent, soft warmth, hair still smelling of conditioner—was enough of a reward for tonight. He tried his best not to turn to look at Changkyun’s face. Somehow it felt right not to. It felt right to restrain himself.

_He went down on you. Looking him in the eyes should be the least of your worries._

“To be honest,” Changkyun spoke next to him, in a quieter voice now that they were close, abruptly pulling Kihyun out of his obsessive thoughts. “I watch his lives to see if he’ll slip.”

“Slip?” Kihyun turned to look at Changkyun. He did not realize immediately how close they were, but stood his ground, nevertheless. With a quick gulp, he continued. “Like… slip something about Hoseok?”

“Yeah,” Changkyun answered. “But that’s just me being weird.”

“A bit, yeah,” Kihyun felt slight discomfort at the thought of the world realizing the truth about Hyungwon’s relationship with Hoseok, although most things were played off as any other interaction between the band. “That’s very fan-like of you.”

Changkyun shrugged, eyes on the screen although Kihyun realized that he was not really watching now. The sound of Hyungwon’s goodbyes sounded through the muffled speaker of the phone before the stream was shut off. Changkyun locked the phone screen by the push on the button on the side of the device, slipping it under his pillow.

As he turned back around to look at Kihyun, he found that Kihyun has not moved a bit, eyes glazed over in quiet thought.

“What are you thinking about?” Changkyun’s voice was low but soft and careful. They looked at each other, Kihyun’s gaze now becoming perfectly aware of the beautiful man in front of him.

“I’m nervous around you,” he somewhat blurted out, although he was not embarrassed by what he said. The truth of those words was just uncomfortably too honest for him.

_But again, you have seen each other at most vulnerable. The truth should be easy by now._

Changkyun’s eyes widened as he leaned back slightly at the comment. Kihyun could see the man’s thoughts darting through his dark pupils, eyelashes shaking as he was looking from eye to eye.

“Are you scared of me?” Changkyun asked slowly.

“No,” Kihyun said. He let out a long breath, suddenly wondering exactly when he became so confident. But it was definitely helping him be honest. “I’m scared of myself.”

They laid in silence, Changkyun’s analytical gaze all over Kihyun’s face and body; such a careful, deep, scientific observation that his father would be proud of. Kihyun’s sight settled somewhere along the man’s arm as he reached out a hand to first touch the skin of Changkyun’s elbow. The touch was soft as his fingertips followed up towards his shoulder, sliding a palm under the sleeve of his pajama shirt, settling on the shoulder under the fabric.

Changkyun kept breathing completely calmly, steady and even, as he observed Kihyun’s mood.

“I don’t really know what it is, but,” Changkyun began, staring intently into Kihyun’s eyes although the older man refused to look back. “I feel so pulled towards you.”

Kihyun bit on his bottom lip as his heart skipped a beat at those words. His arm dropped, no longer holding up his head as it landed onto the fluff pillow of Changkyun’s bed. He willed himself to look up again, first at his own hand on Changkyun’s broad shoulder, then to Changkyun’s dark eyes.

“I never, ever know what you’re thinking,” he said, looking up with a bitter grin although his eyes were filled with a soft agony.

Changkyun chuckled at that, taking his hand to hold onto Kihyun’s elbow, grasping at the limb and pulling him toward himself, slightly but enough to be felt.

“That’s hilarious because I feel like all I do is tell you and show you how I’m feeling,” Changkyun said with a smirk. He moved closer, still leaning up so he was hovering over the man next to him on the bed. They were close enough to feel each other’s breaths flail over the skin, but their touch was so cautious.

Kihyun eventually smiled, a somewhat bitter grin.

“You said you’re scared of yourself,” Changkyun kept speaking, his hand now absentmindedly sliding down to rest on Kihyun’s waist. Kihyun felt the warmth through the fabric of his shirt but willed himself to look back. Although every one of Changkyun’s touches felt as overwhelming as the first, he felt himself become addicted to that strong feeling, willing to sink deeper into it.

“Why?” Changkyun finished.

Kihyun shrugged, but subconsciously shifted his body closer to Changkyun in his own thoughts. His gaze swept over the man, his hand on the younger man’s shoulder moving from under the shirt to his neck, feeling the pulse under his thumb. Changkyun did not even flinch.

“I don’t know,” he said, although that was not the truth but just let him buy more time for his thoughts. “I thought I had it all figured out. I thought I knew what I wanted. I—I thought I knew you?”

His last statement was a question, quieting down as it finished his thought. 

“But I just feel too much when I’m next to you now,” Kihyun spoke, biting down on his lip to halt the thought train threatening to escape his lips. “It’s all different now, and I don’t know why. It’s driving me crazy.”

Changkyun’s eyes jumped between Kihyun’s, trying to dig up more meaning for those words from the depth of his stare. He gave soft nods in understanding, taking his free hand and placing it over Kihyun’s hand that was resting on his neck. His fingertips softly brushed over Kihyun’s knuckles before they wedged themselves into the spaces between his fingers, giving themselves up easily.

“You know me,” Changkyun reassured, laying down so their faces were even across from each other, still holding Kihyun’s hand in his own. “You’ve known me for so long. You just did not know how long I’ve wanted to be like this, next to you.”

Kihyun’s heartbeat sped up, even though he has been trying to hard to keep it under control. Their faces were so close, hands clasped together, in an aura of their own, as if it was just the two of them in this entire world.

“I—” he began in a whisper. “I think I want the same.”

Changkyun smiled softly, probably not realizing that he squeezed Kihyun’s hand a little tighter at the response. Kihyun remained thoughtful, leaning close so the tips of their noses brushed together. Changkyun let go of his hand, tracing Kihyun’s sharp jawline with the back of his hand, then entwining his fingers with Kihyun’s soft hair, brushing it back from his glowing face. Changkyun seemed entranced as Kihyun watched the younger man follow his own movements with his eyes, so soft, the only sound around them being their whispers and words. Kihyun wanted Changkyun’s voice to be the only sound in that small, unfamiliar room.

Changkyun shifted down, his hand sneaking up Kihyun’s back in a more determined touch now, pulling the man’s body towards him so their bodies were now flush against each other. Feeling Changkyun’s breath tickling over the skin of his neck, Kihyun tilted his head back, his eyes fluttering closed, as the younger man placed the most gentle and careful kiss on his below his jawline. He then slowly kissed down his neck, the arm on Kihyun’s back subconsciously pulling the older man’s body closer, pressing his lips stronger onto the skin.

A gasp escaped Kihyun’s lips as Changkyun kissed a trail down his neck, pausing right where the fabric of his shirt was hiding away the rest of his burning skin.

Changkyun tilted his head up, the movement brushing his dark red hair over Kihyun’s chin. The older man looked down in response as they shared an intimate gaze, their heartbeats speeding up and sounding between them, combining into a harmony and accompanying the rising temperature between their bodies. Kihyun’s hand grasped the back of Changkyun’s neck, the hair on the nape calming him down as some sort of weird stress reliever, combined with the man’s calming scent and warm body. His fingers weaved through Changkyun’s hair, gaze not breaking away.

His heart was soaring into all kinds of places. Knowing that Changkyun was just as present in this moment, with the same intense feelings, but somehow there was a deep fear chasing the affection that he wanted to badly to wash them both with.

“Changkyun,” he said, his hand moving from the man’s soft hair to his cheek, brushing his thumb over the cheekbone and almost touching the lower lashes. Changkyun did not waver, his attention on Kihyun and Kihyun only. “I have this feeling that something awful is about to happen.”

Changkyun frowned, but his hands tightened on his back, as if attempting to reassure the older man in his embrace.

“Kihyun, listen,” he said, his voice strong and reassuring. “As long as it’s all of us together, nothing can touch us, okay?”

Kihyun stared back, trying hard to believe this truth that he was so comfortable believing for the past five years. 

“Nothing will break us,” Changkyun confirmed. 

They held each other’s gaze, eyes jumping from one to the other and heartbeats speeding up, breathing each other’s air and holding onto each other’s warmth, as if trying to confirm these words with their closeness.

Kihyun’s eyes suddenly fluttered shut, leaning to touch his forehead to Changkyun’s before he spoke.

“I want to be close to you,” he whispered, the words brushing against Changkyun’s parted lips.

Changkyun did not waste a second before he closed the short distance between them to kiss the older man in his embrace. Their lips collided with a desperate strength; Changkyun’s hold tightened around Kihyun as he moved his mouth against Kihyun’s, licking along the bottom lip and tilting his head to allow himself to devour Kihyun in his intense kiss. Kihyun’s breath was lost somewhere in his throat, overwhelmed as he always was by Changkyun’s affection, so undivided and intense, swallowing him whole. 

Kihyun kissed back, licking over Changkyun’s lips and immediately colliding his tongue with Changkyun’s, so warm and bold, while Kihyun was shyly retreating back. Changkyun’s hand slid up to grasp the back of his head to deepen their kiss, to prevent Kihyun from escaping and continue showing him exactly how close he wanted them to be.

Changkyun shifted back down to dive into the crook of Kihyun’s neck, kissing the skin there and biting softly as his hand already began its exploration under Kihyun’s shirt, the strong fingers gripping Kihyun’s waist and slipping up over his ribs.

“I feel so honored to be able to touch you like this,” Changkyun whispered against his neck, wrapping his arm around Kihyun to pull the man impossibly closer, into himself again.

“Changkyun,” Kihyun gasped from his trance-like state, his hand gripping Changkyun’s hair as if holding on for dear life. He was drowning again, melting in the younger man’s intense touch, his voice saying those words, totally unbelievable yet he had no choice but to trust them. “You’re saying crazy things.”

“I am crazy,” Changkyun groaned somewhere next to his ear, his tongue following to lick over Kihyun’s earlobe. Kihyun let out a moan at the warm wetness, thrusting his hips involuntarily. “I’m insane because of you. I can’t believe this.”

Kihyun’s confidence spiked in his bloodstream again as he grabbed Changkyun’s hair to lead the man into a deep kiss again, tongues sloppily colliding, almost clashing teeth at the intensity of how close they wanted to be to each other. He moved his knee over the man’s hips and in a desperate movement collided their hips together in a wave. The clash of their groins made them groan at the same time, Kihyun panting almost out of breath shortly after at the intensity.

“Fuck,” Kihyun cursed, his eyes closed to get at least one of his senses under control so he would not completely pass out. “Fuck, Changkyun, how are you so intense?”

Changkyun’s teeth sunk into the skin between his neck and shoulder, confirming Kihyun’s statement. Kihyun moaned louder now, somehow that sting of pain feeling so appropriate coming from Changkyun.

“Touch me,” Kihyun panted, hand still gripping at Changkyun’s hair as they lay side by side, hips beginning to find a needy rhythm. “Please. Touch me.”

Changkyun bit down on Kihyun’s bottom lip with a slight pull, licking over it shortly afterwards, as if he could not get enough of the intensity building between them.

“How?” his voice was dangerously low as he responded.

Every intimate conversation they have shared crashed through Kihyun’s brain like a speeding train, trying to understand exactly what he wanted. But the problem was, he did not know what he wanted at all. He just wanted to melt into Changkyun completely, to be had by Changkyun in whatever way the man wanted to have him.

“You said you’ve been with other men before,” Kihyun spoke, a blush covering his cheeks now.

Changkyun looked up to look at him with a calculating gaze, lips brushing over his chin and resting to touch Kihyun’s lips ever-so slightly.

“Show me.”

Changkyun’s grin was almost undetectable at Kihyun’s confession, knowing perfectly well that had they been in any other context, Kihyun would be wildly embarrassed.

Nevertheless, Changkyun leaped forward again to kiss Kihyun, sliding his hand down the man’s back, the skin burning there under his touch, before his hand slipped under the waistband of the stretchy, flannel pajama pants, still careful and exploring.

Meanwhile, Kihyun was burning up under his touch. His hips found their own rhythm, occasionally thrusting into Changkyun’s thigh and groin, trying to find any friction to satisfy his growing arousal. Changkyun’s hand slipped down under the fabric of the pants to grip at the hip, the warmth of the hand launching Kihyun’s desperation, so close to where he wanted it to be.

“Can I take them off?” Changkyun asked, placing kisses all over Kihyun’s collarbone.

Kihyun’s heart fluttered at this perfect mixture of care and passion that was so inherently Changkyun. He nodded wildly, pressing a kiss to the man’s forehead and rubbing his nose into the dark red hair.

“Please, yes,” Kihyun gasped, allowing the other to undress his bottom half before tugging at Changkyun’s boxers to hint at him to do the same. He was panting now, lips parted and face flushed, and as Changkyun laid back down next to him, he watched the younger man grow more intoxicated at the sight. Kihyun unraveling right before his eyes.

Changkyun’s hand was on Kihyun’s hip again before a strong grip clashed their naked groins together.

“Ah, fuck!” Kihyun moaned loudly, desperate breaths escaping into Changkyun’s hair as the man moved down with licks and kisses from his neck towards his chest.

“God, you’re so gorgeous,” Changkyun said, nuzzling into the warm skin of Kihyun’s chest before his tongue licked over a nipple, earning himself another moan from the man in his arms. Kihyun was becoming delirious, his hips losing a rational rhythm and trying to find any friction as they moved toward Changkyun.

“I love—” Changkyun said, gazing up at Kihyun’s face from under his messed-up bangs as he wrapped his hand around Kihyun’s erection, watching Kihyun let out a strained moan with eyes squeezed shut. “I love hearing what my touch does to you.”

Through his delirious haze, Kihyun realized that Changkyun talked an awful lot when they were intimate like this. He opened his eyes to look down at the man kissing along his throat before taking the hand from its grip in Changkyun’s hair, licking his fingers like he did in the dance studio, and wrapping it around Changkyun’s erection.

“Shit,” the younger man gasped, throwing his head back at the touch. Kihyun observed him as the man before him also began losing himself in his touch, before sliding a thumb over the slit and circling the head, moving down the shaft in a firm grip. 

Changkyun growled in a low tone, collapsing to lean his forehead against Kihyun’s chest, then moving his hand along Kihyun’s length, slightly quivering in his hand as he slid over it torturously slow.

“Still want me to show you?” Changkyun whispered, sounding almost like a warning.

Kihyun locked his eyes with the younger man, his eyes completely dark and pupils blown at the arousal drowning them both.

“Yes,” he nodded. 

Suddenly, Changkyun leaned up over his body towards the nightstand between their beds, grabbing the unscented lotion that was laying there, the one he applied on his new tattoo every night. Kihyun watched suspiciously as the man squeezed some on his fingertips, rubbing it all along the length of his fingers, throwing the tube behind him and wrapping that arm around Kihyun again.

Kihyun’s eyes widened, feeling the lotioned fingers rest on his ass. 

Changkyun paused again to look deeply into Kihyun’s eyes again before kissing him, licking along the bottom lip and using his free arm to wrap around the older man’s erection again. Kihyun gasped into the kiss, thrusting into the hand with a sharp movement of his hips that he could barely control. Collapsing into the warmth of Changkyun’s embrace, his thoughts began to disintegrate.

_It’s Changkyun. He is the only one._

He felt the slightly cold, wet fingers brush over his entrance before that hand gripped his thigh and roughly pulled the leg over Changkyun’s hips, spreading him open wider. Kihyun’s hands slid up Changkyun’s back and gripped the back of his shirt; he rested his lips over the younger man’s but did not take his gaze away from his eyes. He wanted to be in this moment, gone from reality but completely aware of every bit of pleasure and attention that Changkyun was drowning him in.

As one hand slid over his erection agonizingly slow, one finger slipped past his tight entrance. Kihyun gasped and tightened on instinct, eyes widening.

“Relax,” Changkyun pressed a kiss to his lips, not taking his eyes away. “Breathe with me, babe. Relax.”

Kihyun’s eyes fluttered shut, the only thing salient in his mind were Changkyun’s breathing rhythm and the intense heat pooling at his groin. As he breathed out, he felt Changkyun’s finger slip deeper into him, a slightly uncomfortable but not unpleasant sensation. The way his leg was draped over Changkyun’s hips helped him rest against the man as the finger went inside him past the knuckle. His breaths quickened, feeling the hand on his erection speed up in a magical rhythm with the finger moving into him until it was as deep as it could go. 

“Okay?” Changkyun asked, exactly like he did on the night he went down on him for the first time, eyes blackened but still genuine.

Kihyun’s lips were parted before he found the words to speak, not just displaced nods as the only response to the man penetrating him.

“Yeah,” he nodded, feeling a drop of sweat slide down his temple. “This is a bit… intense.”

“Wait for it,” Changkyun smirked. His gripping hand resumed its movement again, moving up and down the shaft and thumb sliding over the slit, making Kihyun pant under his touch and softly thrust up to meet his movements, slightly riding his finger as a result. Changkyun took advantage of Kihyun’s delirious moment to insert a second finger, slowly and carefully, responding to every relaxation that Kihyun’s exhales allowed him.

As he situated the second finger inside the singer completely, he pressed his lips against Kihyun’s, shifting slightly down to wrap his arm more comfortably around the man and find a better angle. He experimented carefully, curling his fingers to find the perfect spot to make Kihyun hopefully see stars.

One shift of the finger before Kihyun jerked in his hold.

“Fuck!” he moaned in his embrace, throwing his head back. “Ah, fuck,” he kept panting, eyes blown wide open to look back at Changkyun. “What the fuck… Do that again.”

Who was Changkyun to not obey?

Sliding his hand over Kihyun’s erection, slow enough to not push him further towards climax but enough to accentuate the pleasure, Changkyun curled his fingers again, brushing over the soft spot inside Kihyun.

Kihyun screamed in pleasure, withering in his hold and thrusting into his hand, delirious from the pleasure. He never knew it could feel like this, that Changkyun could take him there, into a completely delirious state of pleasure, drowning and never wanting it to stop.

He was burning up, his hand grasping Changkyun’s hair desperately to press the man into himself, getting drunk on the intoxicating scent and everything that Changkyun was doing to him, the hand moving over his erection, squeezing tighter, and the fingers inside him continuously pumping him, pressing against the spot inside him that made him scream, unravel, forget how to breathe.

“Changkyun! Fuck, I—” Kihyun’s hips were thrusting out of control now, sweat sliding over his face and soaking into the pillow.

“Let go, Kih,” Changkyun’s voice was attractively low and steady, his lips sucking a spot right below the Adam’s apple, tongue then sliding over to taste the flesh, becoming saltier as Kihyun was coming undone under his touch. “Let go for me.”

With those words and one last successive movement of Changkyun’s wicked hands, Kihyun moaned deeply, his breath getting lost against Changkyun’s skin and sweat soaking the pillow, before spilling into Changkyun’s hand. As his orgasm washed over him, his thighs quivered at the intensity of the pleasure burning up his entire body, shaking in Changkyun’s hold before coming down.

He took his time regaining his breath, laying in Changkyun’s embrace as the man slid out of his body, wiping the sweat and cum off onto the sheets. Changkyun then wrapped his arms around Kihyun, holding him close as the other man’s heartbeat found a more reasonable rhythm.

“You…” Kihyun began, swallowing because his throat felt so dry. “How?”

Changkyun let out a chuckle, kissing Kihyun’s forehead before looking back into his eyes.

“You’re so beautiful,” Changkyun said, brushing sweat-soaked hair off Kihyun’s forehead. “I swear I could have come just from looking at you.”

Kihyun rolled his eyes with a breathy laugh, before pressing himself back into Changkyun, cum-stained and all, boldly wrapping his hand around Changkyun’s erection again.

“But you didn’t,” he smiled a mischevious smirk, moving his hand over the shaft, pressing his thigh closer to increase the amount of friction.

“Kih, fuck!” Changkyun gasped, caught off guard by Kihyun’s sudden movements, but his body still giving out to thrust into Kihyun’s hand with its movements. “Fuck, I can’t last like this.”

Kihyun smirked again, feeling an overwhelming sense of pride that he was the one making the mysterious man feel like this, making him unravel in his embrace much like he has done moments before to him.

“Changkyun,” Kihyun spoke, doing his best to do everything Changkyun wanted to him, hips moving with the hand’s movement to bring the younger man closer to his release. “Come for me. I want to see it.”

Changkyun’s eyes were hooded over in a haze, hips moving deliriously before their eyes connected and with a strong grip on Kihyun’s shoulder, Changkyun came between them with a loud groan. Kihyun’s name was lost somewhere in his breaths as he rode out his orgasm, his eyes rolling back and cum spilling onto Kihyun’s hand. Kihyun worked meticulously to let the younger man in his arms ride out his orgasm before the hips stopped moving and Changkyun was left panting in front of him.

He laid with his eyes closed for a moment, catching his breath, before opening them to look at Kihyun. He did not speak for some time, letting their eyes do the communicating for them, before leaning forward to press a soft kiss to Kihyun’s lips. The other man tried not to be too taken aback by the affection, kissing those soft lips back.

“Guess we have to sleep in your bed,” Changkyun smiled. “Since we soiled the shit out of this one.”

Kihyun’s eyes widened.

“For practical purposes?” he asked suspiciously.

Changkyun chuckled, nuzzling his nose into Kihyun’s cheek, almost sickeningly affectionate.

“Yes,” Changkyun said. “And I just want to keep holding you.”

As they washed up and moved to Kihyun’s bed, turning off light after light in their room, Kihyun could not keep pushing away the feeling of impending devastation washing over him. He did not know whether it was because of what Changkyun was doing, what he was saying or whether it was something completely unrelated.

Nevertheless, he let himself wrap around Changkyun’s warm body, burying his head in the crook of the man’s neck and inhaling the rose-like scent. He felt the need to take advantage of this moment while it lasted, letting his greed take over him completely and take what he could get, as if it would be ripped away from him in any moment.

+++  
……

_He is gone._

Kihyun stood in the middle of the large meeting room at their company building, the sudden silence deafening his senses. The static noise was becoming unbearable.

_He is really gone._

The words spoken minutes before this moment were becoming a mass of devastating emotions rising up in his chest.

_”The legal proceedings will continue, however, to respond to the current state of matters and to keep the image of the band under control, Hoseok must leave the group.”_

Absolute nightmare.

_”Trust us, this is for the good of the band. We cannot afford to let one person take down all seven.”_

The six of them stood around the table in heartbroken silence after their management team left the room, allowing the band to absorb the agonizing news. They could not look up at each other for what felt like eternity, each one waiting to wake up from the nightmare that became their reality. 

Then, one by one, they started leaving the room to deal with the news in their own self-destructive ways. First, Hyungwon, not bothering to hide the waterfall of tears beginning to make their way down his face. Jooheon and Minhyuk followed him close after that, realizing he needed the most damage control.

Hyunwoo looked between Kihyun to Changkyun; the former was standing at the head of the table, not having blinked for the past minute in shock, while the youngest sat down with his head between his arms. Even their leader, the rock of their band that was also caught up in the mess they’ve been dealing with for the past few weeks, could not hold them together. He could barely hold himself together, shuffling out of the room in quick steps. 

Kihyun’s breaths felt heavy in his chest, the world pressing down on his back so that he wanted to completely collapse.

But he could not collapse. He needed to do what was best for the band. What was best for all of them.

_This cannot continue._

“Changkyun,” he said out loud, but it did not feel like it was actually him speaking. He felt so far away in his head, someone else controlling his body as it was pronouncing the words. Doing what he needed to do. Doing what was best for all of them.

Changkyun looked up, eyes dark and glazed over but it did not look like he shed tears. At least not yet. They stared at each other across the room, every intimate, trusting moment shared between them flashing like lighting in a split second, before toning down into the grimness of reality.

“We cannot continue,” Kihyun spoke, cold and detached. 

Changkyun’s eyes widened ever so slightly, before narrowing as he actually began digesting what Kihyun was saying. Bringing them up, at this moment, in the worst time, believing that it was for the best.

“You and I,” Kihyun said. “We cannot be.”

Changkyun pressed his lips together but did not say anything. Kihyun felt it was his turn to leave as everyone else had. There was so much pain to deal with that he needed to begin somewhere. Or he would go completely insane.

Reaching towards the handle of the exit door, he was stopped by the sound of Changkyun standing up. Kihyun looked back, gazing into those dark eyes again, looking so different from what he had become to know of them.

“I understand,” Changkyun said before ripping his gaze away, allowing Kihyun to detach and escape the room. Escape him.

_The pain has not hit full force yet. _

_How can we even begin to heal?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really so sorry. Really. I am. But I felt the need to write about this.
> 
> It's been a while since I updated, but I hope the wait was worth it. If you've noticed, I added a chapter count and the next chapter will be the last. I planned for this to be a short story, so I hope you have enjoyed it so far.
> 
> I am very grateful for any kind of feedback and look forward to hearing what you guys think!
> 
> Also please feel free to interact with me on Twitter! I'm fairly new to it: twitter.com/achooagagaga  
I will post an update on there as the last chapter is posted.
> 
> Thank you thank you thank you! Stay fighting!


	6. Epilogue.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _I am sorry._

The days passed by like long, exposed flashes of light. Overwhelming schedules and constant changes pushed away all thoughts to be dealt with when the group could finally rest. Everything they had prepared for did not prepare them for this. The tireless cycle spun, hastily changing their programs, songs, appearances at last minutes and struggling to keep up. It seemed that since the day of the announcement—since their world was irreversibly destabilized—they were riding a speeding train, racing through time without breaks. 

It has been almost 2 months since they came back to the dorm to find his room completely empty, with the only remaining way to contact Hoseok becoming through the phone. The size of the void left in the dorms by his departure was impossible to fully grasp.

Nevertheless, they were determined to invade that void, fill the space and make something out of the situation, mostly out of spite for the situation. They were determined and restless; even though the band felt somewhat helpless for a while, drowning in work while being unable to participate in the legal proceedings, they needed to find methods to cope in their own way.

It was first Minhyuk, then soon after Jooheon, that started using Hoseok’s room for random purposes. Sometimes it was phone calls home, video calls to their seventh member, and other forms of escape. 

Today was another day that Kihyun occupied the space alone with his laptop open to his English-learning program. It was an interactive one but not too elementary, and Kihyun felt productive when he occupied his free time with learning the language. Busyness made time go by faster.

Losing one member felt earth shattering, especially now that it was on the rest of the team to fill the empty spaces. As a result, Kihyun became strangely more attuned to the members and their needs, yearning to lift their burdens although he was carrying plenty of his own. As their work on their English album was culminating, Kihyun had the realization that once they start promotions overseas, Changkyun would be once again in charge of their English interviews. So Kihyun decided that their youngest member should not be the only person to shoulder this responsibility. Although Kihyun’s foundation in English had been very strong with the help of their past world tours, his somewhat perfection-obsessive mind wanted to become better and better, and he was willing to put in the work to make it happen. And it was almost as if lifting Changkyun’s burdens made his own lighter.

Adding to the weight of the world on his shoulders, Jooheon almost made up his mind in favor of taking a break from the spotlight to deal with his anxiety. Things could hardly get worse. Kihyun felt his torso tighten and get dragged down by the gravity of everything happening around him, yet he was determined to push on until he could not anymore. Until they couldn’t.

So, he spent whatever little free time he had in Hoseok’s room, with the program on his laptop, waiting for Changkyun to come in to do their speaking practices as recently became their ritual.

Just as he laid himself out with a deep sigh to breathe out his storm of thoughts, the door opened and Changkyun entered the room with a bright yellow textbook tucked under his arm. He was a bit more old-fashioned like that, with a preference for the hard copy where his fingers could play with the pages when he was thinking. He was also the type of person to write inside his textbooks, Kihyun noticed. 

Kihyun also noted that the younger man did not look as pale as he had looked for the past month, which washed him with a wave of relief that he needed now more than ever. When seven became six and then five, the five must stay stronger than ever and hold down what they have built. At least that’s the type of thinking that kept Kihyun afloat.

Changkyun smiled as their eyes met, his free hand reaching up to unzip the neck of his tracksuit top down to the collarbone. He sat down on the floor mat across from Kihyun, exhaling on his way down and plopping the textbook between then.

“_Good evening_,” he said in English after crossing his legs. One of his hands was tugging at the collar of his top while the other opened the book to a page that was already propped up by a pencil inside.

“You’re just going to jump into it, huh?” Kihyun groaned, throwing his head back more dramatically than he intended. He felt that he had a right to whine.

“I thought you were taking this seriously,” Changkyun said, smiling and scanning over Kihyun. “Not like the other guys, constantly ignoring all their Duolingo notifications.”

“_They are so lazy_,” Kihyun said. He turned towards his laptop, deciding to push it away and let the learning happen organically as it did whenever they practiced conversational English together. He chewed on his bottom lip, thinking of what to say as he watched Changkyun brush back the wet locks of his hair from his forehead. “_I am so tired._”

Kihyun felt silly saying that in the other language, because it felt too simple to describe everything he was feeling, but he could not think of anything better to say.

“_I understand. I’m feeling a lot right now._” Changkyun said with a nod. He was speaking quietly, in that way that makes him prolong and mumble some of the words together whenever he spoke English. Even with that, Kihyun loved anything that the younger man had to say, whatever the language or tone. Maybe his obsession with Changkyun’s voice should have faded as he was pulled to all corners with the recent chaos. But his world didn’t work that way. 

“_Do you want to talk about them? Your feelings. You said you are feeling a lot,_” Kihyun said, stumbling over the middle parts of his phrase but shaking it off. He looked away towards his laptop before continuing as his fingers tapped the mousepad to wake it up. The program lit up to show the topic of the next unit on the full screen. “_Or we can talk chapter twelve: religion and similar topics._” 

Changkyun’s fingers fumbled with the corners of the textbook pages, leafing through them in a self-calming type of way. As he looked away his eyes glazed over absentmindedly before he decided to speak again.

“I feel like I just have to keep going to matter what, you know? I thought we’ve already been through the worst of it but… This doesn’t even come close,” he said, switching to his more expressive native language. As his words hung in the air with an uncomfortable, low buzzing around them, Changkyun shook his head with a clearing cough, straightening his back. “_It doesn’t matter._”

Kihyun pressed his lips together, taking in the sight of the red-haired man across from him, hands now hiding in his pockets, legs crossed and completely covered in long tracksuit pants, one of the legs bouncing. Kihyun wondered what made the other man so vulnerable with him today. Although, it’s not like they had much time lately to sit and talk and breathe. Maybe this evening just happened to be the end of everything that he could take. And Kihyun would be there, as he committed himself to be, to pick up all the pieces.

Some of the heaviest weight he was carrying on his conscience was how he ended it with Changkyun. Whatever _it_ was between them. And now seeing how everyone was deteriorating in their own ways, Kihyun felt that the two of them were incomplete in the way their relationship was, as if they were trying to keep building on a broken foundation.

What it came down to was that Kihyun was cold and brutal with Changkyun when they needed each other most, and he never apologized for it. It was unfair. It was painful.

_There is never a worse time to bring it up, is there?_

With a sigh he looked up at Changkyun, who was half-focused on the task in front of them.

“_I am sorry,_” Kihyun said with a sharp inhale, feeling the burn of his words, the foreign language making it somehow more bitter. His heartbeat sped up in his chest, not helping him deescalate the situation for himself. “_I am sorry for what happened. And how I decided to end us._”

Changkyun froze for a split second, mouth hanging slightly open as he stared back at Kihyun. One could almost see the thoughts swirling behind his dark eyes. He clearly did not expect this turn of conversation.

As if catching himself and bringing himself back to Earth, Changkyun shut his mouth, blinking a couple times to cut their eye contact. His chest rose as he inhaled before speaking.

“_If there was anything to forgive, I already forgave you._”

Kihyun tensed at that, before nodding, as if making himself do that will force him to understand Changkyun better. The younger man was wise, selfless, his purity thrown in Kihyun’s face.

“What I said back then was just so … cold. You do not deserve that. You don’t deserve any of that,” Kihyun felt his shoulders tense up as he straightened his back, looking intently at the man across from him. Squeezing his eyes shut, he continued. “I hurt you when I was trying to keep myself from being more hurt. I was just…”

Suddenly there was a warm grip on his knee as Changkyun leaned forward closer to him, looking intently up into his eyes. Kihyun pressed his lips together, watching Changkyun chew on his own bottom lip in thought, but giving Kihyun a reassuring squeeze with his hand despite of how the younger man was feeling himself. 

“We were all hurt in one way or another that day,” Changkyun spoke softly. “And we expressed it all in different ways. I don’t blame you for anything you did. I know you think you’re doing what is best for all of us.”

Kihyun’s heart hammered in his chest as he was processing the words. He inhaled sharply, deciding not to take that plunge and drown in whatever confusion used to overtake him. Not now.

“_Okay,_” he said, turning away and leaning back. “_Now let’s practice._”

+++  
……

“How was that?” he licked his lips to help them regain moisture, pushing back the large headphones from his ears to receive Changkyun’s feedback. He just basically flew through the entire verse, feeling it spill perfectly from his tongue, and he was confident that he did justice to Changkyun’s song.

“I think this is it,” Changkyun said without looking at him, clicking around his keyboard to save the file and moving the mouse to finalize the segment of the song. “Don’t even need another take, just keep this one.”

Changkyun’s eyes jumped around the screen, his chin resting on a sweater paw as he concentrated on digitally immortalizing this track. He pulled up a folder that seemed flooded with files with random titles, some just numbers and dates, before Changkyun clicked into smaller folder, probably the finalized tracks. Kihyun figured that Changkyun was going to be working on a mixtape soon after their spring comeback, with how many files of ideas it looked like he had saved. He also realized that to Changkyun the studio became a sanctuary, just like Hoseok’s room was to himself.

“That felt good,” Kihyun said with an approving nod, hanging the headphones on the microphone, leaning back to watch Changkyun’s finalization process on the computer screen.

Absentmindedly looking around the studio, which was much messier this week with the recording of Changkyun’s produced tracks, his eye was caught by the sudden disappearance of light on the other side of the door. There were some steps down the hallway, the usual business of every place they inhabited, before silence took over again. The shuffle of the rolling chair interrupted Kihyun’s distracted observation of his environment as the young man stood up. He let Kihyun know he would return soon before exiting the room.

Kihyun watched the door shut before letting out a sigh. His hand almost automatically reached for the side table where his phone was laying, planning to check fan updates, but then the glowing computer screen caught his interest. He got up from the recording chair to sit down in the larger, black office chair that Changkyun previously occupied and moved the mouse to awaken the screen.

With a glance back towards the door, even though he should not have been feeling like he was doing anything wrong since they all shared the studio space, Kihyun rested his chin in his hand as he half-curiously clicked into Changkyun’s song folders. Most of the file names were not interesting in any way, although he was not sure exactly why he was snooping around and what he was looking for. Some files were titled as dates. Interestingly, Kihyun noticed that there was an entire separate folder under one date.

_The day we found out._

Of course, Kihyun opened that folder, finding over a dozen files, all numbered in some kind of code pattern. He considered opening it to listen to it but going that far felt like an actual invasion of Changkyun’s personal space. 

_Although he will probably never release any of these._

The sound of the door opening made him jerk in surprise, slipping his elbow off his table in a reckless way that hit his funny bone. He shook his arm to shake off the weird pain, twisting around in his chair towards Changkyun in the doorway.

“What are you looking at?” the young man asked, his tone completely calm as he crossed the short distance from the door towards the chair.

“I’m not exactly sure, actually,” Kihyun let out a nervous laugh before getting up from the chair, freeing it for the man in control of the recording process tonight. He probably should have closed the folder before giving up the chair, but it was too late for that.

Changkyun sat down and leaned back and not touching the keyboard or the mouse as he glanced between the screen and Kihyun.

“Did you listen to any of these?” he asked, his voice and eyes unwavering but fingers fidgeting with the sleeves of his black hoodie as he looked up at Kihyun, who was leaning back on the table.

Kihyun furrowed his brows for a second, unable to pinpoint exactly what kind of reaction Changkyun was expecting and how secretive the man tried to be about those nameless tracks.

“No,” Kihyun answered with a shrug. “I have a feeling you want to keep them private.”

The corners of Changkyun’s mouth slightly lifted in a sad smile.

“Don’t know,” he spoke, leaning forward to scroll up and down through the files, letting his hands be anxious somewhere other than his sleeves. “I’m not even sure if these are any good, but either way … you have a right to these songs.”

“I would not be mad if you did listen but,” Changkyun mumbled. “Maybe these are nothing more than time stamps. And I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready to let go of them.”

Their slow breaths along with the fan of the studio computer filled the room. Kihyun pressed his lips together, gripping at the edge of the table he was leaning back on. He looked down at the floor, frustrated at how cryptic Changkyun was being, but also frustrated at how he single-handedly shattered the connection between them that allowed Changkyun to confide in him.

“I don’t have a right to these songs,” Kihyun spoke up with a frown, thinking that it was the most ridiculous thing Changkyun has said so far. “These are your songs. And your feelings.”

Changkyun sucked his lips into his mouth, glancing from under his messy, washed-out bangs and the black hood of the hoodie. He chewed the inside of his cheek, as if unsure how to respond to the man hovering above him. 

“And I’m sorry—" Kihyun trailed off, disconnecting their eye contact as he felt pressure building behind his eyes. Closing them, he shook a little behind his eyelids as he attempted to get his breath under control, the sudden wave of emotions washing over his apology. “I’m sorry that I broke your trust in me.”

His head hung low between his shoulders as he shook his head, choking on the last word. One hand gripping on the edge of the table tightly, he used the other hand to rub his eyes, cursing himself immediately if he dared to cry.

_You have no right. You hurt him._

“Huh? Kihyun…” Changkyun frowned, watching the man in front of him start to crumble. He gasped in a slight panic, rolling in his chair over towards Kihyun and placing his hands on the man’s knees, settling closer between them. He tilted his head to look up and catch Kihyun’s sad gaze from under wisps of hair.

“Kihyun,” he said again, hands gripping his knees tightly, the warmth from them spreading in goosebumps over Kihyun’s skin. “You didn’t. If you trust me, then I trust you. But it’s- it’s not about trust.”

Kihyun refused to open his eyes, breaths speeding up at the younger man’s proximity and his words, sounding almost desperate. He felt those warm hands slide up his knees to his thighs, squeezing and demanding attention. Kihyun gave in and looked down into the infinite, dark brown eyes swallowing him up as if they were the only ones that existed in this universe.

“I miss him too,” Kihyun whispered. “But you not being able to share with me how you feel… it almost hurts more, selfishly so.”

To his surprise, Changkyun let out a chuckle and shook his head, his thumbs softly caressing Kihyun’s pant-clad thighs.

“These songs and that day,” Changkyun began, licking over his lips nervously. “Sure, some of them are about him, and they have helped me deal with a lot and actually give me hope for the future. That day was the most painful day of my life, but I somehow know that everything will be okay. I have coped with it, and I feel better about it.”

Kihyun’s mouth lifted in a small smile at the words, relieved that young man did not seem to be carrying the heavy burden that Kihyun was so convinced he was. But then Changkyun continued.

“And I told you, it’s not about trust. I trust you,” Changkyun repeated, gripping the thighs now with a slight tug towards himself. “I’m just scared. I’m scared of the other things I have not been able to cope with.”

“And most of the songs are about that.”

Khyun’s eyes widened; they felt slightly sore and wet, but Kihyun was hyperfocused on Changkyun’s face, drowning in those deep, beautiful eyes, and his glowing lips, speaking sentences that sent his thoughts on another path to confusion. He did not even want to begin to unpack what Changkyun meant, because he was scared too.

_Scared that it’s the same for me._

“I—” Kihyun’s throat was dry as he spoke, the raspy words following. “What are you saying?”

Changkyun leaned back slightly, pressing his lips together but not interrupting their eye contact, not even blinking. 

“I’m saying that I’m scared that I’ll never want to stop being close to you,” Changkyun spoke in a low voice. “I’m saying that I think it meant more for me that I wanted it to. I’m fucking terrified.”

Kihyun’s breath caught in his throat. His body started slowly burning up, from Changkyun’s hands, eyes and voice. Slowly processing the words in his head, it was as if there were sirens going off in his head, the realizations breaking through like a train wreck. His own feelings washing over his heart like hot blood, pumping the truth of his own feelings through him.

It felt like an eternity that they sat there, Changkyun looking up at Kihyun from between his knees while the other man was releasing shaking breaths. He slowly placed his hands on top of Changkyun’s on his thighs, not looking away from Changkyun’s stare. The soft vibrations ascended up his arms as he slid his hands over the skin of Changkyun’s hands up over the clothed arms and finally slipping into it to place them on each side of his neck. His thumbs brushing over the smooth jawline, in a split second Kihyun moved forward to place his thighs on each side of Changkyun’s, sitting in his lap and colliding their lips in an intense kiss.

The warmth of the other man’s mouth was overwhelming as he kissed him while cupping his face. At the same time, Changkyun’s arms immediately slid around his waist before pressing Kihyun desperately to his body, one arm moving up to the back of Kihyun’s neck. He moved his mouth eagerly, tasting Kihyun’s lips, licking over them before colliding tongues.

Kihyun wanted him so much. He felt their mutual desire surround them as he was embraced by Changkyun’s strong arms. It has been months since their last sexual encounter, so every touch of skin, every breath felt intense and overwhelming. There were teeth on his lips as Changkyun bit them with a soft moan, running out of breath.

Kihyun pulled back, licking over his moist lips and panting from their intense contact. He stared back at Changkyun, whose lap he was fitting so comfortably in, before feeling their blissful aura dissipate by the reality of the world around them.

“What do we do?” Kihyun whispered, leaning his forehead on Changkyun’s. He could hear the other man’s quick heartbeat as they caressed each other wherever their hands were.

Changkyun’s breaths slowed down as he leaned forward to softly kiss Kihyun on the lips, then placing kisses on his cheeks.

“I don’t know,” Changkyun shrugged before burying his face in Kihyun’s neck and resting, the soft breaths brushing over the sensitive skin there. “I guess we just figure it out.”

Although it sounded so much simpler than Kihyun knew the reality was, he nevertheless wrapped his arms around Changkyun, hugging him close to himself. He realized that it was absolutely futile to resist if he was able to crack so easily and if being in Changkyun’s arms felt so right.

If it meant that they could be together, then he would figure it out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is the end.
> 
> Thanks so much to everyone who has kept up with this story and everyone who enjoyed this short journey!  
I felt that I really needed to set this story in the Follow comeback era because it has been such a rough time for all of us but I especially wanted to empathize with what the boys were going through. And give a little bit of a happy ending to Changki.
> 
> Anyway. Monbebe, OUR WONHO IS BACK! 
> 
> Thanks again and feel free to leave any feedback and reach out on twitter (twitter.com/achooagagaga)

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!
> 
> I'm really excited to write for this fandom; I'm a month old Monbebe and realized there isn't much non-AU Changki out there. So this is really just gonna be some shameless Changki smut... Because it's what we deserve in these trying times.
> 
> This story will be fairly short and heavily NSFW. Mild plot. Enjoy!


End file.
